That tiny little argument turning into an awful fight you never wanted……Ever been there?
If so, you are at the right page! Most of us might have experienced anger or frustration at some point in time during our relationships. We feel that it’s our own happy space and it has to be “happy”, I mean how can it not be? Although we have the potential to make it so, we often end up cribbing over our partner’s flaws or justifying ourselves with “it just wasn’t meant to be”!
True, that not every relationships end into beautiful commitments but even before a relationship begins, there’s something called a dating phase. It’s a phase where we gradually start getting to know a person, make efforts to spend time with them, even set off with matching their personality traits with what we want to have in our ideal partner’s checklist; but more than that, dating is something which demands communication and honesty.
(If you’re married and want to kick-start the dwindling communication with your partner, read this!)
For instance – Ladies, some of you may feel it’s particularly important to be honest and fair in letting your partner know every single detail about your past lives. Similarly, guys out there – you may apply the same theory to the person you have feelings for! But I would like to ask, is there a prime need to? Don’t we already evolve as a better individual from our past relationships? Won’t enclosing our stories at a gradual pace (neither too early nor too late) suffice at the time? Maintaining privacy and a sense of respect needs to come from both the sides. By enclosing details slowly and at our own comfort, we tend to have a balance – A balance of the parameters in a relation, by sharing what is more relevant; what is presently more important! While I am talking about not being too quick in revealing things from the past, excessive secrecy is also a big no-no!
When we enter a relationship, we start admiring and valuing each other’s emotions, feelings, likes, dislikes, concerns and even beliefs! We develop that feeling of being close, comfortable and intimate with our partners. Amidst of all this, we also start recognising the differences among each other. Often there comes a time when we are not able to decode what our partner expects. Maybe we fail to comprehend their actions, or juggle between taking a step forward or not. All this somewhere adds up to the frustration. Sometimes, we feel overwhelmed in even continuing to be with our partners while in some cases, it’s like a complete back-off from commitment!
Would you like to know how to resolve this frustration or how to just enter a zone where you are more likely to save your relationship? Here are some quick tips for each one of you to keep in mind while your relationship mode is under high alert and danger from unwanted quarrels:
Identify what triggered your infuriation
Point out what is really bothering you. For instance, “you’re so annoying” can be replaced with “it makes me mad when you don’t even listen to me and start your own things first”. By stating the specific reason behind your emotion, or using personalized statements, you can make things easier for your partner to understand where they are going wrong.
Avoid approaching your partner when your angry-mode is *on*
It just ruins it more! Try to rearrange the thoughts you have, and before interacting with your partner, practice a few relaxation techniques. Breathe in….Breathe out. Be calm, then try initiating the conversation.
Put up a question to yourself – “Will this be important two weeks later from now?”
Trust me, this has worked out! Ask yourself if you think this won’t be important. Your aggression would have already been deflated a bit, post which you can tell yourself that it won’t even last long so why waste your time getting frustrated temporarily?
Laugh it out
Yes, humour works too! It has the power to lighten up a situation. Tell your partner to do something funny which is bound to make you laugh, helping in calming you down and relieving your pent-up emotions.
Pump up yourself and find ways to ease your anger
Hit the gym. Run, jog, and get active. Channelize your frustration into something productive which will benefit you with a healthy body and mind. You might also find other ways to let go this anger. What if one fine day, your partner forgets to take you out on the date you both planned earlier? Resolve it by simply making an unplanned date happen, ease things out. Try to accept that it’s natural to forget things when one has other important tasks to take care of.
Stay hopeful. Do not allow your exasperation or temporary frustration come in between the sweet bond you share with your beloved! After all few effortless techniques would definitely pay off for the effort you are putting in your relationship!
Download our FREE ebook here to rekindle the spark in your long-term relationship and watch the fireworks!