In a relationship with a man

Hi, I need help. I have been in a relationship with a man from August 2018, from what information I got from people about how he carries himself it wasn't pleasant. 

- He comes from a stable family and a first born. 

  • - he never saves his money at all has never had any bank account. 
  • - he has been working on many well paying jobs but all he does is leave all the jobs. 
  • - he drinks all his money and smokes all through. 
  • - has never had a place of his own, has been living with friends and now he is 32yrs, they have never talked to him about being responsible but only assist him drink all his money. 

  • I personally coz I really wanted to make the negativity of what was being said to something even his family who had lost hope to be proud of and himself too. 

  • We decided to stay together, I moved from my place of residence in a different town and found a house we could stay and remove him from his friends house. He went to his casual job in Delhi and he is a graduate his mother works in a big government job. he came back in December 15th 2019 to Mumbai. 

  • Before that I used to encourage him to quit smoking and also open an account, reduce drinking, buy new clothes as he had only 5 faded and old ones. He later stopped smoking, but when he came back to Mumbai coz we never lived together I didn't know his true colors, he would go out at 10am and come back next day at 2-3am in the morning. I would get pissed off, talk asking him to stop and he never said where he went or what time he was coming back, that really infuriated me made me quarrel, pissed off, I would go to work exhausted, angered. 

  • He never brought food home, we never talked about anything then one day he came drunk calling me and my brothers thieves we nerve saw his money and all he would do is go out early and come in the morning drunk. His mother confided in me and said she has tried it since but his son always ran to his friends and continued drinking and smoking until she had blood pressure. She was fed up as the son has had a lot of well paying jobs but drunk all his money with friends who don't even advise him to change his life. I moved out, he took me to the police on 5th January 2020, for stealing and on that day he was still drunk and smelled cigarette. 

  • I lost all love I had and felt disorganised in trying to make him not a laughing stock among his friends, I lost feelings for him. He later apologised and asked to stay again, but he repeated the same late home coming and smoking and not saying where he went. With all this happening I continued doing what a good woman could do to his husband cooking Washing his clothes, continued encouraging him to open account, bought clothes, food, but I continued being angered, felt disorganised, disappointed when I remembered what he has been doing and saying. 

  • I later threw him out after his friends saw I was bad as they never saw him at clubs and he had started again. He stayed at the friends home and mark you all his friends have married and have children, but they never advice him. So when I try to pull him out they ganged up on me. He later came apologised and stopped smoking and drinking but I had lost every bit of love,care I don't feel anything, he lies but later denies. I Just want to forget all this pain,my life is not the same last week sunday we fought and I asked him out because I have tried and maybe its not enough. 

  • My life has changed I get angered easily,mixed emotions, disgusted, I loved house chores but this day I feel I want to just sleep, at work I don't do as I used I have lost the drive as I work with HIV/AIDS patients I am just bored. I don't interact and be friendly as I used. Yesterday he still asks to be with me. I just get annoyed when he texts or call. I tend to remember all he has done, and how he has turned my life to the negative. 

  • All he says I have changed his life, he has a bank account, clothes and when he visits people they tell him the way he has changed and looks good, and feel loved as also his family had lost hope. Help me 

Sharing is caring, show love and share the thread with your friends.