I can totally imagine the agony you must have felt when you found out. When one finds that their partner has been cheating, ones whole world turns upside down. It seems to me that your husband is going through some kind of midlife crisis where after 20 years of being married and two adolescent sons, he’s craving the excitement of a new relationship. This actually happens with a lot of men, believe it or not. It makes them feel young, powerful and wanted. You may also notice certain changes in his dressing style, taking more care with his appearance etc.
Although I would like more information before I can come to a conclusion but what I can tell you from experience as a therapist is that more often than not if you’re calm and even behave as if the whole thing is like a joke to you, these new urges die down after sometime because the younger women he seeks won’t respond to him the way he wants. On the other hand if you quarrel or cry for him it may strengthen his feelings that home us boring and he needs excitement. Just be cool for sometime and watch. If you see him talking to some woman, say “oh is it my competition again? Tell her I said hi!” with a nice big smile. See how he reacts! I would love to hear back from you and see how it’s going. If possible please do let me know here or on [email protected]. All the best!