Thanks for the reply Amit.
I had my control over 12 years now.Im only trying to probe and understand our relationship better.
Devoting his time atleast little is what I expect.Is that wrong? Is that too many expectations on him?
When my son was born,I eagerly wanted to see my husband.He never met me.He was happy holding the baby and showing him to others.I waited for 30 min.He never came.Then I requested the doctor to call him.Then he showed up.Even during pregnancy,he ever came along for check ups.Is that normal?
With the little baby I had waited for long hours longing for him (not for doing house work,just to be with me and baby).He never came.He stuck to his routine and said this is how I am.so many times my son asked why father doesnt turn up home after office whereas all his friends Dads come home.I had managed all that.
I understand that my emotional expectations hurt me more.He never has any reactions to it which is a warning sign.Last 12 years I had been with him to run the family smoothly.Is it not time for him to be with me atleast now? atleast once?
Sleeping with my MIL is not a problem.But he does not want any privacy or sex for months together.Is it normal for any man?
I dont deserve a secondary treatment especially when I have behaved well with his family members.
He goes for vacations alone with his friends.He travels from Chennai to Pune or Cochin by flight to catch up with his friends.He goes out for dinner with them.I do not stop.I also do the same when I meet my friends.But does he not want to spend little time with me? I want.There is no “want” for him.Thats the problem.
Even now,at this moment he is with his sister and family enjoying his vacation in Kerala,though he knows that im upset for the last few months and I refused to go.He still went on vacation.This clarifies that he moves on even without me.It doesnt bother him much.I did not stop him too.Let him enjoy.No problem.But spending time with others and ignoring me – Is that normal?
I might be wrong.Im not justifying my act.
For every action ,there should be a reaction.If there is no reaction,what do I do?How do I Understand him? I let him do whatever he wants.I do not demand for money,property or jewels.His time for me is not a demand,but a necessity factor for us to hang on.How long can I live alone like this? How long can I console myself ? There might not be a solution for this.Atleast expressing this here in this forum gives me a relief.