hi shona, nothing is happened wrong or closed in ur life. still u have much more time decided ur life partner. You are making urgent relationships from comparing others and to feel safe but there is also lot of things are there which u should u have to think for future. if these guys went out from ur life then u will not going to loose anything. if u think u loved him really then they r the losers. For all this things u don’t need to take any drink or smoke. You just has to focus on ur goals. if u do that then all the other things Will come to u automatically. And think u r not in anybody’s control or u should not make anybody to control ur life. You are the only one who can make ur life beautiful.