#18966

Santhosh
Participant

Hi swarup,

Firstly thanku Fr your concern.

I’m under immpense frustration with feeling of dnt wanna live this life. I had been in love from past 1.5 years, I had given her everything from end(not materilistic) which was possible me. I was dedicated so much, I was never soo much dedicated Nd passionate for in life till date. She was everything to me, my life… I mean it. Even she knew that…but now she’s getting married not me though.. Bcz she doesn’t wanna hurt parents. She started to kind of ignore me from more than a month. I had already an history of mental illness… even now, I hv anxty disorder Nd obsessive compulsive dis order. Thr has been a lot disasters in my personal life to before she came, had lost 4 ppl from in my family nd much more following it.it’s been hell of a life in simple.I’m really sorry Fr such big essay. Now she does that Nd I feel like betrayed, I dnt like hurting ppl even if thy hurt me back.but not Now… I feel like killing my self Nd her.I’m sorry again I’m just sharing what I m feeling like.I’m not a cruel person,she was soo attached to me too but to me she was an angel. Everymomemt it’s just her in my mind, but now I keep blasting her with my rudeness but I’m hurt aloot. I had built my world with her, she was my world. I dreamt of a family with her, even she knew tat…she now just takes the blame Nd tats it.my life has gone to hell Nd I dnt wanna live anymore.
Alwaz ppl had left me, but she knew everything… in the begininibg. Of our love she knew she can’t convince her parents but she let me built my world. Now she walks away just like tat…I can’t take it.

Thanks
Santhosh