It is totally understandable how you feel. Everything you are going through is unfair to you. Have you ever tried asking your in-laws why do they speak the things they do? No matter what you neeed to understand their perpesctie. Sit down with your in-laws and ask them have you done anything to hurt them? Soetimes we say things unknowingly that people missunderstand, based on their childhood experiences. They do not know it also. You can be the bigger person here and understand what is going on. Set the example to your kids that you would like to solve issues and even after talking if they do not change, then you have every right to be assertive in telling them such statements are not acceptable to you and you would need to be treated with respect. You need to feel like you deserve to be treated right and also remember many times we focus on things that actually do not matter. Also the more you react, the more you will hear. Show the world your happiness is only in your control. A wise man told me once”If you have decided to be happy, no one can stop you”. Do be firm and clear with what you want and coming to your husband, he is doing the best according to him. Men usually have only work on their mind. He is responsible for so many lives and to him that is enough to cloud his day, he would be so happy if he could come to a happy and peaceful environment. Try and speak and sort things out. I am sure no one can be mean forever.