I am going through some weird kind of situation. The first thing I would like to tell you is I feel I have lost the “ME” thing in me. I feel that I have lost trust in everybody around me including my parents, my best friends, myself and even God too. I feel terrible about this. I try to just take off every kind of negativity I have in my mind but there is some kind of fear in my mind…
From what I understand through your message, your entire problem is focused around competitiveness. It appears to me as if your’re weighing your entire life in terms of competition/no competition – even your relationships. But relationships are so much more than competition. But we can work on that later. Right now you mentioned that your exams are near and you feel you have lost that competitive edge. For this I would like to bring to your notice the last line you wrote “care more about me and less about others”. If that’s true what do you care what everyone else is doing? Why don’t you just do your best in preparation and go ahead with your exams? Competitiveness isn’t the only thing you need to succeed. What you need is diligence and hard work and perseverance – all of these qualities you already possess! So put aside the other worries for now and concentrate on your prep. All the best!