RE: Guilt



Dear Rachana,

First of all I want to commend you for having the courage to come forward and talk about that’s happening with you. I understand what you must be feeling. The new guy you’re in love with, is he ready to spend his life with you? Are you sure you’ve made the right choice and not under emotional burden? I’m not saying that you continue to live with your current husband because I know the trauma you must be facing with his suspicion and drinking problem. But leaving him does not mean that you must immediately jump into another relationship.

What happens is, that in some situations we are so emotionally vulnerable that we lean on the first support we get. But sometimes relationships forged under stress are not able to survive later. What I would recommend is that you seriously consider separating from your husband and first give yourself time to heal completely. Because the scars of emotional abuse take a long time to heal and they would undoubtedly surface in your new relationship. Do you have a career that can sustain you if you separate from your husband?

As for societal and parental pressure, nobody can feel the pain you’re feeling. And of course people will talk, but after some time all that would fade away. You have to weigh the pros and cons of your situation and take the plunge. What is more painful? Living with a few comments for a while or living under the same roof with a man who kills you emotionally on a daily basis? Right now this is your main dilemma. Not the new relationship you’ve formed.

I hope you will be able to arrive at a decision. All the very best!