first i want to tell you that leave thought of suside because if anybody suside that means he will has to do this again and again till 7 lifes and he will get many many punishment for this because he disrespect his life that is gifted by god . he kill himself. God gifted you this and you should respect this.
Rashmi told you that is correct and follow this .
Now my dear friend i am telling how you will be good boy and again get your lost confidence .
Promise yourself that i will Never apologize myself. I try to make better but if i will not be successful i will not dipressed.
Dear Friend in this world both things exists good and bad. Everbody is good and bad also nobody is completely good and bad. So take away tension and try which is in your hand.
1 when you going to sleep lay down start to see your breathing when it comes in and when it comes out.
2 now say youself i am peaceful , joyful and powerful , i am son of god.
(remember all qualities which have father a son also have them) my father give me this good opportunity and my father i am thankful to you for it
3 please please please help me allah help me i am yours and you are mine. i am same as like you because i am your son.
Left all the things which you have done wrong and see your future only
if you lost your present to think about your past then nothing you can do. so first stop think about your past and make you present then your future will be good.
4 When you wake up in morning pray for allah that give me joy , give me power , give me your love and your peace . help me help me help me
i am your and you are mine.
Now one more thing try to meditate how
Go to maszid or you can do it in your home
sit down on a carpet
make attention on your breath when it comes in or comes out
Fill it, Fill it more deeply for at list 10 minutes
after practice you can increase time
start to read sant kabir
Forget which is going on in your life make your present strong
do this and see the result
God bless you