RE: Issues with Partner

sonali_psychologist wrote:
aky wrote:
aky wrote:
I need urgent help. I am very stressed with the in-ambitious laid back attitude of my partner. Its been 10 yrs of our association and we r married for past 4 yrs. we belong to completely difrnt family background and education. although i never expected him to rise upto the mark to match my parental family but I always wanted my partner to be efficient enough to run my house. I am a working lady and my husband has always been switching jobs and for now he is jobless fr past 3 months. i hav started feeling dat i am a fool to continue wid this relationship as i find myself just going dow and down day by day.

I hav also developed low self esteem, i loose my mental balance several times in a month and shout, throw thngs, hit him, and even think about suicide. he knows everythng. i hv had a miscarriage last year and m not able to conceive as well. I am nt able to go for proper treatments due to lack of finances. i earn so much dat i cn barely run through household expenses and have asked him to arrange fr a share frm his family now. i m tired of getting money frm my parents now.

I do not know wat to do. i am addicted to him, although nowadys i try too hard to stay happy in his comapny. i still love him and wissh he works out smthng to get his career on track but m failing again and again.

He has asked fr time till dis year end and if he fails dis tym thn he says dat he wud let me go out of this relationship considering it to be his failure to sustain marriage.

But this marriage means a lot to me. my life revolves around him only. i do not feel good if i dont see him fr too long. i sometimes even suspect if i am schizophrenic.

I cry at least once in a day and dat falls to be mostly in the night before i go to sleep or else if i am away frm my husband alone at home… i generally dnt hav ne othr reason of tears except a feeling of failure in life.

I dont no wat to do. I do not hav money to attend psychologists. I do not want to get into anti-depressants.

I cannot explain more details here as it wud just go on … I need help. just found this website online.. PLEASE HELP!!

I also want to add to this – I love my husband very much and this relationship means a lot to me… in fact i am scared to see it broken. My husband also loves me and the only big trouble we are currently unable to tackle is – his financial drawback.

Please suggest Prachi. I am waiting for your suggestion and support.


Well i went through your problem… seems you are going through a lrough patch in your life. Would suggest that you should talk to your husband regarding what you are feeling and as well right now he needs your support as he is jobless. The best way to resolve problems between partners is one to one communication and let out all your feelings. Try this out and talk to each other. And most importantly be positive and don’t loose hope as you both need each others supoortbat this time.

Hopefully you would talk your feelings to each other and come to result together. Look forward for your reply.

God bless u
Stay positive

Thanks Sonali. Good to get a response on my problem. I need to mention here that my husband has now finally got a job. And for sometime we both had strted to feel that things will improve. At least I had become hopeful. But yesterday, again, we had a very bad fight. we even hit each other. when he does not hv an answer he generally slaps me hard and i revert back d same. I loose control and i shout, thow thngs and all those stuff. I do not want to b like dis. i hate dis life like dis. Yesterday again i got to know dat he has not stopped lying/hidin truth from me. He nvr keeps his promises and i m fed up wid dis behavior.
he cares fr me. but when he has smthng which he really wants frm inside and knows dat it may cause hurt to his wife.. he lies… inspite of knowing dat his wife is finicky on lies.. nd also.. his wife allows him relevant freedom.
i do not know wat to do now. either i hav to break dis marriage or make myself just shut up. but hw do i shut up to non sense thngs.. just to ensure that my marriage continues.

we hv loads of financial loans…. nd for me.. staying alone nd paying all alone firstly is nt possible and secondly, it was taken together then why shud i pay alone..

its difficult for me to live with him and its more difficult to get separated. however, inspite of saying dat he wud also suffer… i m sure he will happily manage his life widout me…

wat shud i do now… its gettng worse day by day…