#15292

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Participant

I am in Dilema, Confused and literally lost. I don’t know what i am right now. Its just that whatever i am doing
is not from heart. I am not in love definitely. This Hate, this feeling has taken control over my body,over my mind,over my soul,
I dont know what i am upto,i dont know what i m going through, i dont have words to express the things i feel, i dont know what i am supposed to do,
i m not in love, I have lost a few people in my life and very soon i am going to loose a few more, I remember what i was, what i used to do, how i used to behave,
but now its completely changed. all the changes that i have observed in myself is that i am aggressive, i don’t listen much instead i speak a lot. My hands talk rather my words,
Sometimes i feel i am careless, i have no job to do, i have no aim. i am not clear about my thoughts. I am not in Love, and that love is not about between two people. but with everybody,
i cared a lot, i loved a lot but all i need is somebody to love me, all i need is somebody to care about me.. and the only thing . the only mistake in my life i made is EXPECTATIONS.
Expectations killed my soul killed my feelings. sometimes i feel like a stone hearted guy who doesn’t even care about his friend. all he is concered about himself. sometimes i feel like to
look somebody. somebody who can talk to me. somebody who will stood up for me when the whole world is against me. who will be beside me even if i am wrong. who would walk with
me in the times of loneliness. Expectations killed everything inside me. The previous me, the ME that i used to be. The ME that i want to be back. I had that sort of satisfaction once that yes everybody
is happy with me, nobody should be upset but then when i look back, it doesn’t matter to anybody. I cared for them and they left me. I am afraid of loving. i start expecting people soon !