RE: Need help for my 6 yr old daughter


Akilas wrote:

My daughter has always been afraid of anyone outside the household. She feels so shy before them and does not return a word or conversation with them. Sometimes it includes not only strangers but even people/relatives whom she has seen and spent time more than once.

Dear Akila,
It seems that your daughter is silently crying out for attention and help. The fact that she seems to be ‘normal’ at school and difficult at home makes it even clearer for me that she wants YOUR attention particularly. May be there’s something that’s bothering her and this is how she is requesting. This is what children usually do. I would suggest you keep her home from school for a couple of days and you stay with her too (I assume you work, so I suppose you’ll have to take leave). Don’t try to ask her directly what’s bothering her because she won’t be able to tell you. Try and strengthen your rapport with her. Do her favorite things together (like visiting the zoo, or any outdoor activity she prefers but not malls or toy stores). It has to be an activity that takes you outdoors and gives you quality time together.

Once you two are comfortable and her mood seems to have improved, ask her to make a few drawings about her life at present. Children’s drawings can tell us much more than we can imagine. I’m sure you’ll see some clues there. Look for how she draws her peers, her family, where she places herself in the pictures – alone or with others, does she draw other significant ppl etc. Also keep an eye on when she’s playing alone with her toys. You may see some hints in the interaction she portrays.

I hope all this helps. Try and avid considering her behavior as ‘drama’ because this is all children know how to express their feelings. There is something definitely bothering her. Let’s find out what and your child will be as happy as anyone else :)
If you need help interpreting her drawings, let me know and we can work something out.

Take care,