You really are in a tough spot aren’t you? And I can totally imagine how confused and exasperated you might be feeling. But you know what the good news is? After reading your story I realized that there is actually no irreversible damage. I think you still have a chance to turn things around. All it would take is some re-organizing of thoughts and a lot of self-discipline. But I do think we can make it work. I know I’m a little late in responding but if you still want my help I would really like to talk to you at length. Just drop me a mail at [email protected] and we’ll figure something out.