I am a 25 Year old Women .
I got married very ealry .i.e at the age of 19 . Though it was a love marraige . Both my partner and I were not ready for marraige . Due to family obligations we got married immediately . we Both wanted to wait and make our careers first.
Though later I completed my Graduation , but it was in the field which i disliked and pursued it only because that was the only option available in external studies . Within the first few months of marraige i understood that my husband has not told his parents that we are married . i kept insisting him to take me home , because he never used to allow me to tell any one that we are married .
This caused to many rifts between our relationship . He even went as far as abusing me . because of his insecurities he also told my parents that your daughter was not loyal to me and was is having an affair . which is totally untrue .
Finallymy parents went ahead and informed my in laws about the wedding . due to which my husband started behaving like a maniac with me .
Finally 2. 5 years ago when he understood i am expecting a baby . he stopped fighting and took me to my in laws place .
The worst was yet to come .
My in laws tortured me because of the love marriage they disliked me completely . My mother in law went as far to tell me that as my Husbands Sister was expecting at that same time . she asked me to abort . but unfortunately my sister in law had an miscarriage and and i escaped the trauma of an abortion . in the mean time my husband started behaving normally with me . due to the being physically and mentally disturbed by in laws i had an pre mature baby . by gods grace he is fine now …. but after delivery when i went back to my in laws place .. they started making sure that they do not allow me to eat properly or take care of my baby . no one helped . Finally i took a stand to move out of hose . my husband initially was not OK with this idea . though he knew that his parents were making my life hell . upon insistence and then later telling him that i would move out alone with the the kid . he agree .
later again my husband started getting abusive , because we had financial difficulties and we had even moved out of house .
In this process i stopped eating , and even doing my other daily chores , it would be days before i used to have a abth or eat or even do anything . I finally broke down and had to be taken to a Psychologists . He stated i have Post Partum Depression . But he failed to understan that Since i got married its been hell. He now my husnband behaves good . But there is no single day that he just blasts or will behave irrationally . I seem to be lost . My husband does not like i making friends . its been ages i have actually been out of the house apart from going to my mothers place and my in laws house . the baby also takes up much of the time .
I really feel like running away far from this marraige . i even dont want to go abk to my parents . they are understainding but they are typical . they are more scared about what people will think thant what i am suffering .
Pleas etell me what can be done .
I understand what you must be going through. And you’re right, this is not just PPD. You need to be helped at a lot of levels. You have become isolated and probably feel trapped in your life currently. Is your husband open to attending some sort of family counseling with you? If he is, then that’s a good sign. We can work on that. If not, then would you be able to attend counseling on your own? If you feel it can be done, and if you can tell me which city you’re from, I can recommend somebody. I would like to refer you to someone in your city because in your situation, you need someone who can be there for you to monitor your progress and who you can be assured of as a physical presence as opposed to online help. I hope you understand my point.
We would be waiting to hear from you.