hii, i see i am facing 2 problems one of falling from standards, guilt feeling and other fear of being cheated.
things hurts me more because when my relationship started, i start facing problem regarding physical intimacy (because i was not even ready for a kiss), we decided to break our relationship within 2 days of it. when he ask me for sex, i simply denied, he said me he cant stay in such relationship and said it is over now (but that was not easy we both cried he start drinking, and i keep on begging him to drop his wants). but he came back and said how could i do such thing to you (sex) he assured me he would not cross this limit. and then things went very smooth i molded my self to some extend and he was keeping his promise too. from then it was just like a romantic movie spending lots of time together, he wrote poems on me and songs, i was moved when i saw him crying once when we decide to broke and one when i said i am going back.
i came back to my city, he used to text and call me when ever he get time used to told me how he still felt my presence in house. and fell ill when i went back.
things were very beautiful but from last couple of months his behavior changed he when ever we talk on call i do most of the talking and he keep silent, even in text his only reply were ok and fine, and slowly he stop calling and asked me to talk only in text. when i tried to ask him he simply kept silent, due to his silence i concluded that may be he is dating someone else or want breakup, i frankly ask him about this, he denied and said i cant even dream of leaving you, i feel bad when i talk to you, i did wrong to you, when we don’t have future together.
from this point i become insecure, fell ill and lost my confidence and dreams ambitions because i am so dependent on him .
out of blue he said he is coming to meet me and want to spend complete day with me because for last 2 months we have not met. when we met he begged me for sex and it was shock to me. he said he has waited too long for this its frustrating to leave apart.
well i told you what happened (sex). when i was crying he was trying to crack jokes and then said we love each other and it is part of relationship and we didn’t do any thing wrong, we love each other and we expressed that love.
i dont know what is going on.
i am surrounded by the questions like he is lie or cheating etc
my time is not good.
just now i have started over come my guilt and fear but my parents made my life more miserable
i don’t know why my parents snatched away my cell phone and prohibited any contact with my friends including boyfriend. and scolded for having any male friend. (they dont know about my relationship)
and scolded me and said me you r a bad girl and a characterless girl. we gave you every thing and we always admired you for your values but you turned out to be a cheater to your parents,
they even said you will b completely destroyed your dreams aims and life. i will lead a life a rotten life.
i dont know how to deal with all this. and they will spoil my image in front of all my friends and they will even scold them.
this is leading me to deep stress and depression.
i am loosing hope.