I know my problem is not really big compared to numerous others, but still I feel like writing all of it. I prefer to stay anonymous because I don’t want to be identified at any cost.
I have been experiencing quite a lot of inferiority complex right from my childhood. First of all, I have been obese, with a dark complexion and a big spectacles added to my attributes. I was pathetic at my academics. I couldn’t score well, which was a disgrace to my family. however my parents love me a lot and they are with me all the while.
Am not able to find even a single thing which am really good at. Its been over 1.5 years since I graduated and am still struggling to find a permanent job. I couldn’t contribute anything. Am right now in a job which would end early next year, and I really do not know what is next. People label me as dumb and am good for nothing wherever I go and am destined to believe in that. I have no other option other than accepting the fact that I am indeed, dumb.
I have been writing all the exams for a government job but I never succeeded even once. I thought I was pretty acceptable in my subject, but that thought vanished with an exam result that came out today.
Apart from that, I feel am always alone in a group. I don’t have really close friends with whom I could speak my mind out. People who come a bit close to me just walk away all of a sudden. Every time its the same story and I end up crying for at least a week for them.
I feel am really pathetic in life and am good for nothing. I couldn’t find one positive thing about me except for the fact that some people have fun by teasing my appearance. That was probably the best deed of my life so far. My parents love me a lot and that keeps me going. After my parents, no one will even bother if I rot somewhere.
I want to know how I can get rid of this inferiority complex. I know how I can keep moving on without crying over things. I want to know how I can survive in this appearance-prejudiced world. I want to know how to come out of being labeled as “dumb” everywhere. I want to know how I can erase so called “friends” out of my memory.
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Prachi S Vaish