RE: Welcome!



i am 25 years old married woman. i was never supported or loved by my family since childhood. i was always an irritated child and grown up like one irritated person. small things make me mad. I have no control on my temper and sometimes i feel extremely helpless abt it.i get angry and then i loose control over my tongue and speak some utter nonsense to people. whatever i speak is truth, but i know shouldnot say it. i will tell u an incident that happenned tonite. i stay in an rented apartment with my husband and kid. my hubby is out of town mostly for his work. my landlady is very greedy. she insists on having her maid to be employed in our house, even if there is a delay of one day in paying rent, she will come and crib about it and chew our hubby went to her place to pay her rent but she was not at home, hubby left for office. he was suppossed to come in the evening, but she cribbed about it saying why dont you keep money with you and all. she had a bulb fused off from her house,so she took one from our floor which was there in the staircase. i told her to put another one there as it is difficult to climb with a baby in hands and i have to lock the door everytime i go. she didnt put the bulb i got one and put it there. today she took that bulb too without my knowledge. when i asked her,she said bill bohot ata hai electricity ka and all that. we had a fight over this.i argued that i hav a small baby,if while climbing the stairs i fall down and baby gets hurt then whose responsibility it is?she said she dont care about it. then i got mad and i said her that she will not understand a mother’s concern becoz she never had a baby from her own tummy.{she has a adopted daughter of about 24 years old} her daughter interfered in our fight and said i have no manners how to speak, then i told her daughter that i dont need tolearn it from sumbody like her. i know whhatever i spoke was disgusting and in no circumstances i should hav said that, but somewhere i just couldnot controlmy temper. my difficult childhood has made me absolutely heartless about others feelings. i am crying over my helplessness. i am not able to help myself. please help