This topic contains 8 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Pari Pari 1 year, 11 months ago.

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  • #18318
    Profile photo of Ashutosh_Narayan
    Ashutosh_Narayan
    Participant

    I was doing my mba when i fell in love with this girl who was working in an IT firm. We established physical relation also and I felt i would be marrying her so I said that let me complete my mba and I will get engaged with you. However, near my placement process,I got busy, fights started creeping up, mistrust built up,and our relationship teetered on verge of fights, abuses and occasional sex. As i started my job, I realized its gone to a point where we need to call it off. However, she thinks I have cheated on her and blames me for destroying her life. She says I used her as a sex toy. And wants me to marry her. Despite everything being bad between us. Should i relent to her requests? Or should i follow my heart and move out of this relationship?

    #18319
    Profile photo of Amit
    Amit
    Participant

    Ashutosh the girl might be very hurt about the downs of the relationship. But if she says that u have destroyed her life or used her as a sex toy then she is not right as relationship is a mutual thing and u both are equally responsible for everything. She is just being too emotional than being reasonal. Dont take her comments too seriously. I would suggest u to once talk to her and try to sort out the difference if u can. U can take the help of a relationship councellor to weigh the benefits and cost of continuing the relationship.

    #18323

    Swarup
    Participant

    Hi ashutosh, as both of u has gone through a serious relationship so its better for u to stay with her in future. If u are going to break ur relationship with her then it will true that u have used her both physical and mentally for ur happiness. So there is many problems will occur in every relationship but break up is not the solution. If u are truly loved her then ur heart will not let u to leave her. So think calmly and talk with her discuss ur problems with her, otherwise u will become a sole reason for destroying a girl’s life.

    #18329
    Profile photo of Pari
    Pari
    Participant

    Hi Ashutosh, I have replied at length to you personally.
    In brief, I would like to share that in my views you loved each other which has brought you physically closer too. But now since situation is different, you cannot sacrifice your lifes because of your past moments. Even the girl needs to understand why she wants to marry you??? Is it love and covering up for past?Is she ready to spend rest of her life with someone who does’nt love her anymore…
    your post itself has an answer that you dont love her now …..

    Take care

    #18330
    Profile photo of Pari
    Pari
    Participant

    I would like to add, that if you find out that the girl really loves you then you should reconsider the decision and take some more time to reach to a conclusion…
    just think…
    Why you dont want to marry her?
    Why she wants to marry you..?

    I second Mr Swarup , if she truely loves you then l wld say , going away from her without her consent will be cheating…

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by Profile photo of Pari Pari.
    #18332
    Profile photo of Amit
    Amit
    Participant

    there is no practical way to find whether the girl truely loves u or not. cheating is when u sign a contract and u dont deliver what u promised there. There are legal ways to fight cheating. Marriage is a very big decision and ashutosh i would want u and her to go together and take proffessional help to come to best decision. U dont need her consent to leave her mate but u might regret ur decision in future if it doesnt turn out to be the best so take guidance of a competent psychologist. u can go alone first and then as per the expert u can ask the girl to join.

    #18333
    Profile photo of Amit
    Amit
    Participant

    Instead of saying “i will marry u in future” …..learn to say “i want to marry u in future” . The former comes under promise and the latter comes under preference. Emotionally they mean the same thing but reasonably they are poles apart. The former comes under committment and should be sensibly said.

    #18338
    Profile photo of Ashutosh_Narayan
    Ashutosh_Narayan
    Participant

    Thanks a lot everyone for your valuable inputs. As I said,my reason for not marrying her is simple. It does not work between us anymore. Her reason is simple. We have been together in past so we should not move on. So I have decided to draw the curtains on it. Even if she thinks I was a cheat or anything,I will go ahead with what is good for me and her.
    Thanks evryone.

    #18418
    Profile photo of Pari
    Pari
    Participant

    Great!!!

    All the Best for your future!

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