abnormal behaviour

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    i have 3 cute baby boys but my behaviour wid them is so abnormal we lived in joint family system 4 abt 8 yrs then my husband got new job in another city & we seperate my problem is that i beat my kids at small or almost no issue i was a good daughter in law & good wife but why m not a good mother after doing that i cry & hate my self i think i should die i will never b a good mother my hubby says that in 8 yrs u completely changed urself i was full of life nd hope bfore marriage bt my inlaws were so meterialists they don’t understand feelings nd emotions i love my parent mostly after marriage so i dont want to hurt them so i bear everything wid smile never say anything about them to my parents or husband but he knows he saya that i observed everything then i decided to leave wid a proper reason bcoz u bear these situations alone so u show ur inner anger at ur kids but now we r happy we r seperate then why i still behave like this i want to love them make them nice personalities but they r adopting my anger they r also disturb wid all this plzzzzzzzzzzzzz help me to change my self to b a good mother waiting 4 ur response plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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