October 25, 2012 at 5:00 am #13240
Before describing my problem I’m giving you little bit background. We had love marriage one and half year back. Now my wife is pregnant. My wife family is joint family. She having mother,father and one brother ( age 33 same as mine). Along with her father’s brother(Uncle) and wife and two kids(one boy one girl) stay together. Mom is retired nurse and getting pension now. Her father, uncle and her brother no one is working. For living they do farming but it is not enough but they are managing. Sometimes my wife help them financially. Her uncle’s both kids are studying in class 5th (in Hostel). My wife and her mother’s support them financially for kids education.
In my family I have retired father( no pension) mom and two sister( one elder sister and one younger sister). My both sisters are not married. For living they are working but earning is not enough so sometime I have to help them financially.
Now me( age 33) and my wife(age 35) staying in Bangalore and all our family stays in Orissa hometown. I’m working as a software engineer and my wife is working as a teacher. Our marriage is love marriage and we completed one and half year of marriage. My wife is pregnant now.
Come to the conflict part: My wife loves her uncle’s kid. She enjoys their company. My wife’s uncle’s boy kid is not good at study. Usually he doesn’t like to stay in hostel and very fickle minded and specially he failed in math. My wife’s believe is that if we bring that boy kid to Bangalore and keep with us. By influence of our parenting and love and care, he will excel. She is right here, kids parent’s are not good at parenting and they don’t care about kids education but somehow I’m not accepting it. I’m not ready for this. I don’t want to share my home, my baby and my wife with uncle’s kid. Now here my wife says that I’m selfish. Ya it sound like selfish but I just can’t stay with that kid. Reason is, that kid is in not mine but my wife’s uncle’s kid.
My problem is, am I really selfish here ?
Now my wife is pregnant and I don’t want unnecessary problem and burden over this. I don’t want to fight over this. My wife says even if I’ll say no, she will go ahead with her own and she will bring that kid here for study. If I ask about our baby which is going to come. she says she can manage both and she can give time to all. I agree… But i’m not accepting this. Is it my problem. She look this as a act of charity and God serving. And here I’m kind of selfish.
How I’ll mange this and how I’ll go about it.
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