August 10, 2014 at 5:49 am #13795
I’m from America, settled in India. My fiancé is Indian and also living here, but about 6 hours away from me. He visits me about once or twice a month. We are both middle aged and divorced. Both our fathers have died. He is Hindu and I am Roman Catholic, but that is not an issue for us. We have been engaged since January and plan to marry next month.
He has spoken with my mother by phone once and they occasionally message each other on FB. He is also friends on FB with my son and brother. My family is fully aware of our engagement and support me in whatever choices I make.
I have never met or spoken with his family. He says that he announced our engagement to his mother and sister a few of months ago and they are not very happy about his choice. I mentioned meeting them before we marry, but he got upset and made excuses for it not to happen.
Even though I have heard him mention me or tell them hello for me while he was speaking to them on the phone (2 or 3 times), I don’t understand Hindi and don’t know what entirely was said.
Now, we plan to marry next month and will do it without me meeting his family first. Due to time issues, we need to have a quick civil ceremony before my current visa expires.
I feel as if I am being hidden from his family, friends, and coworkers. I thought that family was very important in India. However, he says that he is only close to his sister. I have stopped pressuring him about it and don’t mention it anymore.
I understand he is very busy now with his work and our future plans, but is it unreasonable for me to want to at least talk with one of his family members?
Should I invite them to our wedding ceremony?
Should I send a friend request to his sister on FB?
I feel very detached (or hidden) from his life when he is not with me. What should I do?
Thank you in advance.August 11, 2014 at 9:35 am #15521
I am Indian. See what i feel is that don’t hurry for marriage until you are sure about that person. It is something doubtful is he has not yet introduced you to any of his friends, family members or colleague. Who knows if he has another girlfriend or wife? I don’t want to shed your hope but it is better to be sure. If he has decided to spend his whole life with you then there is nothing wrong to let you meet all close people related to him, whether they like you or not. i feel you are not at all wrong in asking him to associated your identity with him in public. If your mother is her FB friend, you can send FB request to her sister as well. and FB is again not that big Trustworthy source. Please meet people close to him before marrying him and ask them to witness your marriage. being cautious for yourself is not wrong. infact it is your duty to take care of things happening to your life. it is about your future and no one else would be more concerned than you your self.
And yes don’t become so negative and hopeless with my view. Take things sensitively. i am just concern about you but that doesnt make the person you are going to marry as fake. may be his reasons are strong for him. but if his sister is close to him and also his friends… they all should support him and he should let you meet them.
don’t be rude is asking this but also remember it is your right to know.
Good luck. Hope to see you replying with a happy note. And all the best for a happy married life.
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