August 22, 2013 at 3:32 pm #13443Confused_in_loveParticipant
Heres my story
I have been dating a guy for one year now and he is really nice and loves me alot, as usual the initial period was all rosy
Now the parents have talked, my parents are pretty liberal and being doctors place a higher importance to career than marriage the same has been inculcated in me, his parents (especially his dad) is like my son is already 28 (I am just 23) we need to get him married as quick as possible so please hurry up.
Apparently both parties had decided that wait for an year and if the couple is together then we can go ahead, my parents place decision on me his parent want to take control and apparently the guy is not listening to them and he has clearly told them that dont force and let things happen.
So till now the guy is supporting me seems to be standing up to his parents so overall good.
Now the problem is that his dad seems to be calling my dad every now and then and pressuring for marriage which itself is very irritating and caused a lot of troubles in our relationship due to fights we have trying to prove each others parents right.
The problems and differences I realise are as follows:
1) I want to study further and once I am into some course I will get married if everything is ok
BUT, he doesnt seem to me to be so driven for him the whole setup is like he is the major bread winner in the family so what he has achieved is big for him so he doesnt seem to be interested in doing anything further( though he tells me he has plans for further studies as well)
So I dont know if both our ambitions match or not
2) his parents are very dependent on him financially emotionally etc (despite another brother in the house)whereas my parents despite me being the only child are very self sufficient and me being with them or around them is good to have and not a must have
This doesnt seem to be much of a problem apparently but I dont know if I am adjustable to such a thing
3) His dad seems very intrusive to me though on the whole he doesnt seem to be controlling anyone in the family but doesnt mean he doesnt try to and my parents are very liberal and leave my life to me.
And the most important thing which has spoiled a lot of things is that his dad seems to have said some really stupid stuff to my dad like “if I see my son and ur daughter together my relatives will beat up and stuff” I have no idea who is lying or what BUT I have lost all respect for that man
Now my worry after all this difference is it a good thing to marry this guy because I am the kind who doesnt miss a good opportunity to enhance my skills career wise and till now he seems to me the guy who will may be go for that slow and steady thing and not aim for too much.
ANd on top of it this whole family difference?
My point of posting this was to get a third party unbiased view on this situation and is it a fir thing to continue this or not
Please contact if any questions
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