This topic contains 12 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Amit Amit 1 year, 10 months ago.

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  • #18468
    Profile photo of Priyanka
    Priyanka
    Participant

    im in love with a boy since 3 yrs.. just 1 sided..i have expresed my feelings 3 yrs back.. im so mad about him that i cant stop talking to him..i want to be atleast friends with him..I will easily excuse him for all the pain he have caused and talk to him like nothing happend..He too treats me well like a friend..sometimes like a very clse frnd and like he mean it..but ignores me when he is with his friends whom he likes more than me..or his sister even when im around..I dont want him to stick around only me..i just want him to atleast talk with me nicely now and then.. im being too desperate..but i cant help it.. i cant even resist not calling him for more than a day.. what do i have to do.. how do i forget him

    #18469
    Profile photo of Amit
    Amit
    Participant

    u dont need to forget him and continue being friends. But it would be best for u to forget this irrational opinion of yours that u cant stand without talking to him for more than a day. U can stand it but u dont want to. Just call him not more than twice a week and understand that talking with him is one way to enjoy life. But there are so many other ways to do so look for more eligible guys. On the other hand being in a relationship is one way to be satisfied ion life. But there are so many other ways like look for any activity that u find absorbing or develop some goals in your life and pursue them with discipline. He has no reason why he must be nice to u thats completely his choice and has got nothing to do with u. U can easily forget him once u divert ur mind to new goals. Not able to talk to him does not cause ur emotional misery but your own irrational philosophy that “I cant stand without talking to him” .U have the power to give up this crooked philosophy and improve ur well being. If u want u can still call him everday stupidly and become more miserable. Again its ur personal choice.:)

    #18480

    Swarup
    Participant

    Hi priyanka, its ok that u just wanted him to talk with u once in a day but u should also think about him that he may not wanted to involve in any relationship with u now or he may have any other work. As u told he is more friendly with others than with u. Sometimes it happens that we are going to avoid people who are trying to come close to us and we only came to know their value after being far from them. So try to avoid doing more msg and calls for him for some days then he will realise ur importance in his life. And its your life u can love anyone but don’t force them to love u back. If u truly love him then he will definitely understands u don’t worry.

    #18609
    Profile photo of Vishal
    Vishal
    Participant

    Hi Priyanka,
    If you love someone you should love him wholeheartedly.
    If we love someone just love him/her .. Thats it !
    I repeat just love him.. Nothing more 🙂

    Dont expect him to love you back…
    The problem is not in loving someone ..
    Problem starts when we start expecting..

    Just love him and do whatever possible to make him happy..
    Think of his happiness and do whatever possible.

    If he doesn’t want you to do anything for his happiness ..that’s also possible.

    That’s ok.. perfectly fine.

    You love him and care for him..it is good enough.

    I know my advice sounds wierd.. but trust me .
    That’s the only way to handle one-sided love.
    Don’t make love a business..

    You remember the song ..
    Pyar ko pyar rahne no..Rishton ka ilzaam na do.

    🙂

    Take Care

    #18610
    Profile photo of Vishal
    Vishal
    Participant

    Key point is do not expect from him 🙂

    #18611
    Profile photo of Priyanka
    Priyanka
    Participant

    I dont want him to love me back..I just want to get over him.. I clearly know that he is not the right one for me.. but I keep loving him.His mere presence makes me feel happy.But i cant live like this anymore.. i dont want to. I tried to stop talking to him. but somehow i end up calling him.. I dont even know why I love him that much.. but i know that he is not the one that makes me happy but “I feel” happy when he’s talking to me or when he’s around.. I know that i cant forget him easily but I want to stop talking to him .. I cant resist myself.. I dont know what to do

    #18612
    Profile photo of Priyanka
    Priyanka
    Participant

    I dont want him to love me back.. i just want to get over him.I know he’s is not the one for me. He doesn’t make me happy but ” i feel” happy when he’s around or talking to me.. his mere presence makes me happy. He himself admitted that he hurts me so much and asked me why do I still love him so much.. I know that i cant forget him completely but i just want to stop calling or texting him atleast. I have tried but somehow i end up calling him. I dont want to be like that anymore but i cant resist myself.I dont know what to do

    #18613

    Swarup
    Participant

    hey priyanka, every one sided lover wants that and feels same kind of this. The thing is focusing on ur goal for future. Just wait for finishing ur last year then u may go to new place and meet new people. its all happening because of that climate in ur college. and it is hobiously happens when u r in hostel. So try to be busy in any work for some days. As u know thinking increases….

    #18614
    Profile photo of Priyanka
    Priyanka
    Participant

    And from all that I have gone through , I think there’s no such thing as unconditional love or whatever crap. If we love someone so much..we definitely expect atleast “little care” from them.. Its really hard to not to expect anything from them. i have experienced..

    #18615
    Profile photo of Amit
    Amit
    Participant

    Priyanka where in the universe have u seen that when u love someone like crazy they have to or must show little care for u….?? Its just your own stupid irrational philosophy that u have made and that causes all ur emotional turmoil. Its just that u want him to show lil care and not he has to or he should. I would like to make u aware of one more thing that u want that is to be happy and live a satisfied life. That is the biggest preference that anybody can have. But the thing is that u falsely associate ur happiness with him. Though u might feel temporarily happy when he is around(like people after drinking cigrettee) but in the long run he has got nothing to do with ur happiness.End this philosophy and meet new eligible guys. If u continue with this nonsence u are much likely to not find anybody else or be satisfied or be happy. By saying this i dont mean to offend u but i want u to take the right action to a happy life.

    #18617
    Profile photo of Priyanka
    Priyanka
    Participant

    yeah right.. but I didnt say that he has to or he should.. I just said that we’d expect that.. and I think that’s quite natural for a human.. Im not blaming him for not having care or concern about me which is completely his choice.. I just want to get over him and move on.. thanq all for ur suggestions

    #18618
    Profile photo of Priyanka
    Priyanka
    Participant

    y is everyone concentrating on the point that ” i expect”.. isnt that normal for a girl who’s crazy about a guy?? Tell me if im wrong and my expectations aren’t too high. It seems you guys haven’t experienced one sided love with little expectations I think.I envy you all. And this guy im talking about he’s close to me sometimes.. real close.. he shares everything and then suddenly he leaves me like im nothing to him.. If he’s not caring about me from the start I woudnt have expected anything from him…but he was like a real close frnd sometimes..I dont think expecting is my problem right now.. my problem is about forgetting him.

    #18626
    Profile photo of Amit
    Amit
    Participant

    your expectations could be normal but completely unhealthy and self-defeating. There are many ways to get over him that i have already discussed but they require your hard work and dedication. Its like for acheiving any goal in life we have to take an action and put continuous effort over a long period of time. The problem is u dont seem to follow the path to happiness u just want to get results by doing nothing. Its your choice to choose an easy way to a stressful life.

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