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This topic contains 25 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  Ashutosh Anand 1 year ago.

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  • #19081

    khushi singh
    Participant

    HI,Shita here, i got married last year in april since then my life turned upside down. My husband asked me to break this marriage on the very first day of our married life as according to him he took a wrong decision. We have not even stayed together for more than 20 days in last 9 months due to our jobs but still he never want me to stay with him. Even though whenever we stay together he took good care of me .He even understands whatever iam going through.He tries his best not to hurt me and my family but still he feels that we both are stuck in a wrong place.Prior to our marriage we both talked openly about our past relationships and was clear about that but still i feel my husband is stuck somewhere which is a strong reason for which he wants this marriage to end. He try hard to move on in this marriage but something stops him. Iam just not able to understand his problem. what do i do???

    #19082

    Swarup
    Participant

    Hi, When you have time to access yourself, your husband and the relationship, it’s time to sit down and talk. Explain to your husband what you’ve been feeling, but be sure to own those feelings. Avoid accusations and don’t expect your partner to defend themselves or their choices. Treat this like a mutual sharing session and invite your partner to talk with you about what they feel.Be a good listener and let your partner speak completely, let them know they can be honest with you without repercussions for doing so. Avoid a confrontation by remaining calm and showing you are committed to their feelings and to hearing them out. If your partner wants to break up, ask for the reasons. You do have a right to know, but be gentle and considerate in asking. Avoid using this time to change their minds or deny what your partner says. Your partner may be angry, afraid or aloof. Allow them to tell you the best way they know how why he wants to break up with you.

    #19084

    khushi singh
    Participant

    hi, iam trying hard to know the reason behind it and have tried so many times to sit and talk clearly on this issue and also i really want to help him with what is that which is disturbing him so much.I have also asked him that if feels he can write me a letter or a mail. Iam not sure if my way of handling the situation is right or not.

    #19086

    Swarup
    Participant

    U r doing right, handle the situation correctly without taking any quick decisions. He will definitely tells about his problem then only u can move ahead.

    #19090

    khushi singh
    Participant

    Samajh Nahi ata Ki rishtey itni zada taklif q dete hain.. Jiske lie AP apna sab Kch Chod k age badhte hain life mai wahi Apko sabse zada hurt q Kar deta hai?? Mai jese bhi hai Bht try Kar rahi hu chizo ko sambhalne Ki Lekin kal rat ko 2 hrs Apne husband Ka phn busy jate Dekh jab mene use confront Kia to wahi sab low talks hi hui, AP log batao main Kese uspe trust karu jab Woh Kehta hai Ki sab Khatam ho Gaya or mere pas koi reason Nahi hai Ki shadi q todni hai…rat mai Kai bar esa laga jese zindagi Khatam Kar du Bahut thaka or hara mehsos ho raha hai

    #19091

    Swarup
    Participant

    Kushi ji zindagi khatam karne ka erada chodiye agar sab log aise he sochenge to koi zinda nahi rehsakta. problem toh sabko hoti he, kya aap kisi family ko jante he jisme koi problem nhi he?…
    life ko age badana hi asli zindagi hota he, aise negative cheese mat sochiye. Apka life bad nhi he sirf aap ka a toh sirf bad time he apne zindagi me toh wait kijiye kyon waqt hamesha aisehi nhi rehta jaise aap sochte hein. Kabi himmat nhi hare eske badle me a sochiye ki apko age kya karni chahiye…

    #19100

    khushi singh
    Participant

    After that fight I was really upset with the kind of language my husband used so I decided to be silent. Early morning he msgd me called me up n said sorry n all but I was sure what I was supposed to do I remain quite. After the morning call I didn’t picked up his any calls neither I replied to his msgs. In afternoon I received a msg from him saying ” I think it’s good for us to step out of this relationship Nahi to tum Ese hi pareshan rahogi or mai Tumhe pareshan Karta rahunga” I continued to be quite. Ek bhi call Nahi lia mene whole day. Again rat ko msg pe msg saying I like u very much and m sorry I spoiled ur life etc etc. He was drunk Infact Mjhe kehna chahiye he was overdrunk. He called me and I picked up his call this time he was crying, apologising and he drank coz I didn’t took his calls. Thn he said mene tumhre sath dhoka Kia Hai mai Bht Bura Adami hu main jis ladki se Pyar Karta tha mene uske sath bhi dhoka Kia hai. Mene APni mom se bas ek chiz mangi thi apna Pyar Woh bhi Nahi dia unhone Mujhe” yar mene uski baten sun k or uski taklif dekh k decide Kia hai ki main is ladki se milungi or koshish karungi inko sath lane ki mai APni Wajah se kisiko Ese Nahi Dekh sakti or use to bilkul Nahi Mjhe Nahi samajh aya uski kya feelings hai mere lie koi Pyar hai jo use bhi Nahi Pata koi attachment hai ya simple care hai?? Lekin mere lie kal rat Ka episode Bht shaky tha.

    #19348

    khushi singh
    Participant

    hi , i haven’t communicated from last 17 days although he is calling me n texting me too. But don’t know why iam not feeling like talking to him. I very well know that its he who is having all those mental blocks but may be my soul is reminding me of being a human. I don’t know what do i talk to him I have no keen intrest left in hi & hello, my heart want something which is real. I know i have to be more patient and calm but right now iam not feeling good about anything. Iam feeling all alone. What do i do???

    #19349

    Swarup
    Participant

    When he wanted to contact u then respond to him. When he cares about u then he surely loves u but not showing . You are feeling alone because u need someone to listen all ur problems and be with u as ur backbone and it can only be ur husband. Dont forget communication always connects the people and silence separates. He has done faults but knowingly or unknowingly he thinks about u a lot. So talk with ur husband then u can be in touch with him.

    #19368

    khushi singh
    Participant

    hi swarup,

    afetr last post i msgd him & called him too but since thn he has stopped answering me. I really dnt understnad what is goin thru his mind. Iam getting tired of all these things. Actually I want him to take atleast a lil step forwrd to continue this marriage.I stopped communicating coz jab bhi bat karo tab yahi bat hai ki hume sath nahi hona chahiye n all reason pucho to ans milta hai main nikalna nahi chahta apni yadon se. i tired of listening all these statements. Swarup i can keep patience for years but at last i dont want to come up as a fool, kabhi kabhi aise lagta hai jese yeh intezar kabhi khatam hi nahi hoga…..

    #19377

    Manu
    Participant

    Hi! I have gone through entire series of post, I feel your husband in a state of severe dilemma. Just wanted to ask, have you think to take the help of a common friend or a qualified psychiatrist in this matter. See if it works.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by  Manu.
    #19387

    Swarup
    Participant

    Its actually getting bad because of living in distance with him. Once u started to live with him then he will understand what he really needs in his life. He still loves u but he feels guilt because of many past things but everyone will not be remains as same for that u have to wait for little time untill u are able to live with him. Don’t worry he will definitely contact u soon..

    #19389

    khushi singh
    Participant

    Kafi dino se unke pas Jane Ka Chal raha hai pehle usne kaha Ki main tickets kara deta hu Thn ab bola APni mom se Ki Apko Ana hai to a Jao Khushi Nahi a sakti yaha main Nahi chahta Ki Woh yaha aye mere pas, yar Aj tak 1 sal hone ja raha hi is bande kuch positive response Nahi dia Swarup Mjhe Nahi lagta Ki use Mjhse attachment bhi hai koi Woh bas Mera patience level test Kar raha hai use APni duniya k Bahar jese Dekhna hi Nahi hai kuch

    #19390

    khushi singh
    Participant

    We don’t have any common friend. He haven’t introduced me to any of his friend and yeah Iam in contact with Dr. Prachi through hope network only

    #19395

    Swarup
    Participant

    Everyone needs a partner to feel comfortable and to someone who will be there to take care of us then How can he will not be happy with ur presence, as he needs someone who should take care of him. Life always will not directly gives what u wish but u need to accept what it gives and has to convert it as u wanted. So always have positive attitude towards ur decisions then only it is possible to do. Try to stay with him for atleast few days so he may know what he really lost and what he needs in his life from u…

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