This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Akshayhp 3 years, 10 months ago.

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  • #13518

    sameera
    Participant

    HI! :)

    so, here goes my story…

    at the beginning of my graduation life at the university .. i fell in love with my cousin (distantly related ) who studies here. i dont know why i fell for him.. and i’m not the person who falls in love easily either . infact i have never fell in love before at all. he’s the kind of guy who doesnt talk much to girls..but i always tried to initiate conversations with him..where sometimes he would respond properly and sometimes wouldnt..2-3 months passed by…my friends kind of forced me to tell him i love him..and i told him.. he did not tell me anything..he just convinced me because i was exteremly embarassed of the act.. but he told my friend “not to tell me that he was not interested in a relationship”…i just told him i love him..i did not expect a relationship or as a matter of fact a positive acknowlegement for what i told him. all i wanted from the beginning till now was honesty and frankness from him which i never got.. after he told this to my friend… i did not know how to assume his reply..i was left hanging …we dont speak to each other also..much.. but after this incident his behaviour towards me changed completely. for ease i will call him “R ” and my friend ” G “..after this convo with my friend which he had.. i was confused..i took almost one month time deciding if i should ask him what he meant by it..i mean clearly ..so that i could decide something..at least.. so i called him a day before my birthday and asked him.. why he couldnt tell me he was not interested directly..and why he had to tell her not to tell me.. i recieved only silence from his side .. all we spoke was hi..i asked him.. silence… i said ok..bye.. after this 4 months passed by..by that time..one semester of mine got over and we got a summer break..after the summer break..things started changing..R’s friends started almost stalking me..where ever i would go..i would see them..they would try to smile at me.. i was quite embarassed with the reactions which i was recieving and did not respond..slowly..R also..joined his friends..and started the same activity..stare at me..stalk me..some how..during college free hours be around me.. he would stare and scare my guy friends away.. everytime.. a smal problem cropped up in between an acquaintence of mine and him..because of which i had to contact him.. because i was being wrongly blamed for some funny act R did.. R suddenly was all nice to me.. blocked dis acquaintence of mine from his friend list on fb.. told me that he would take care of the situation… and i did not have to worry.. and he said he was sorry to create trouble for me…he has been kind of rude to before..but i did not know why he changed like dis after the incident…. his stalking increased day by day..he wouldnt mind..stopping at the mid of the road and block other people’s way..just to get a glance of me… then arouse a whole load of problems when i casually asked him.. if he would help me solve this issue peacefully ..i said i wanted to meet him and talk to to him..he said he would come and never turned up..i was upset.. he got angry because i got upset that he did not turn up and asked him why he did not.. i would have been fine if he said he did not want to meet me..insted of giving me an irrelevant reason.. he screamed at me.. i was all the more upset.. after that i did not talk to him.. in the mean while my friend”G ” without my knowledge asked R’s best friend if R loved me back..dat guy told no..he loves some one else..dat too from his school.. he’s had a crush on her for 4 years almost.. R got angry because G asked his friend about it and screamed at me again.. i did not know what to do..i did not encourage her to talk him either… after that a series of mis understandings took place..he started to hurt me more and more..the more open and truthful i was to him..the more he hurt me.. i was shattered… despite all of this i would still see him waiting to catch a glance of me..during the breaks.. make his frinds inspect if i ever looked at him.. stand right behind me if a guy talks..stare at the guy and scare him away… but then things took its worst form when my friend G asked R directly if he loved me .. that u’ve been doing all of this..or do u love someone else.. he said he “loved a girl..”.. which i assumed it was the school crush of his.. den came 2 months of silence again.. when R became passively aggressive towards me.. there was this moment when he told me ” i cant sit and explain things to you.. please understand that i want to spent quality time with family and friends..” which actually was the biggest insult i have recieved ever in my life.. people love being around me.. no body has ever told such stuffs to me.. i lost a great deal of confidence because of this.. i replied this to him..” i’m sorry if i disturbed. please consider me falling to ur feet i’ll never talk you again.. ” and i did not after that for a few weeks..i had to talk to him again..because of my parents..but before that some how he texted once to see if i would respond to him after that.. i did.. my mind did not let me stay irresponsive to him even after this.. in 2-3 weeks i again told him i love him too much..and i would like to know something about ..it.. he told me “he loves a girl..and he’s not told her.. till date he has not seen her standing and talking to a guy ..she doesnt even accept a guy’s friend request on fb..so his job was geeting difficult. ” when i asked him why he did not tell me about this earlier..even when i asked him a million times about it..and i also told him he could tell a friend of mine about it..but not me..for that he said” see , she’s a third person..so i could tell her with ease.. but.. i cant tell u..because u r my sister..and i consider you much closer to me than her..but that’s ok! i have told you now..” ( i think it should have been the other way round..if he considered me his sister..he would have stopped me at the very beginning and said”see, u are my sister and this cannot happen” he stays silent for over a years..acts wierdly..and then says he loves some one else”) he said ” i did not want to hurt you”.. i was shattered because he lied to me… this is the exact same story he told G few days before i asked him out again.. i had all the proof texts in hand.. when i simultaneously asked him about what he spoke to G he said ” NOTHING ! GENERAL TALK I HAD WITH HER”.. i broke down to tears when i saw this.. but one thing i know about the so apparent crush he has on the girl he told..me.. she is not on fb..and its been 3 years since he graduated from school… my friends tell me he has lied to me.. he’s not clear with his answer.. i havent been in touch with him much after this…but he has been annoyingly nice to everytime he got a chance to talk to me…
    what am i supposed to do? is he hiding something again? when he loved a girl already.. why should he lead me on like this… and then drop me from a crazy height????

    #15369

    Akshayhp
    Participant

    Clearly there is only one and only one answer. Let him go. He is not sure of his actions and is seemed all confused. Give yourself a break from him and spend some quailty tine with your family and friends as he said to you.
    You will find a person who knows that he loves you and no more confusion. But just let go your cousin. Even after asking so much time he is not clear then get rid of him. Try to forget him.
    For this time is the best healer.

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