Confused about life.

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    Dear Sir,

    I really don’t know I really need counselling or not But I want to Talk to someone about my problems.
    I will start with myself. What I think about myself. I have a dark complexion, wear specs of +6.5 power, and I wear braces too. Basically I have a normal personality but sometimes I think why I Cant be good looking like others why I am not attractive. In my childhood I still remember that incident that on my first day of class !st some of my classmate laid me down on floor and stand on me. but my friends came to rescue me. That was the my first experience of bullying.In my school days others used to pass comment on me, that I am not good looking and they used to make fun of me. When I was in my teenage I used to think about this thing a lot but now I have accepted the fact that everyone is beautiful in their own way. But sometimes I feel complex ed about my looks.

    My parents are searching a guy for me. I even met 3-4 guys. but no positive response came from anywhere. Whenever any rejection came I think its because of my looks they rejected me. My parents are worried and I can’t see my father in Tension because of me.

    Talking about my education. What I am today is because of father only. He encouraged me throughout me educational life. Because of him I completed my BBM and MBA. But I ruined everything by myself. After completing my MBA I started working with a recruitment firm. Everything was going well. But here father was searching groom for me. and I always have to go my native for this purpose. Last year March 2013 I went to my native Bihar without taking leave from my job or without the permission of my manager. The reason behind this was I had already taken leave in January and I knew if I asked for leave again she will not grant me. So I thought I would say that because of emergency in my home I want to my native. When I return to my office my manager said me to put down the paper and i did that. After relieving from my job I really didn’t try anywhere seriously. I don’t what was going on my mind that time. I had given few interviews but no positive response came from anywhere. Its been a one year now and I am still looking for a job. Recruiters ask me what i have been doing since from a year I say them that I went to my native that’s why i left my job and looking for job now.

    My parents told me to prepare for government job, but I know my Maths and English is very weak. For clearing written exams of govt. job you should have to be good command on these to subjects. I try my best to clear the exam but its like I always achieve 75% of my target. My parents says specially my mother that I can’t do anything. I feel like crying sometimes but i become so hard hearten that tears don’t come out. I want to share my problem with someone but again i don’t feel like sharing it with my friends because i feel they would never understand my condition. Still I don’t know what i want to achieve in my life. I want to get govt. job because of my parents. But what I really want I don’t know. I like helping others solving their problems, listening to them. Sometimes I feel I should join NGO and should work for others.

    People says I am short tempered , I easily get angry but I feel I got angry because nobody understands me. I am very bad in English. I want to improve this.

    About love in my life I don’t have anyone in my life. I had a friend whom I met through social network . We was very good friend i know him since from 5 years. I stared liking him after two years of our friendship. But he said I can’t marry you and i don’t want to see sad because of me and he rejected my proposal. Last November he got engaged. I stopped talking to him after that. But I miss him everyday. Its been a one month now I have not contacted him neither did he. I used to share all my problems with him but now i don’t have anyone.

    Tell me sir do I really need help. Waiting for reply.

    Thanks & regards

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