This topic contains 10 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Shruti Shruti 1 year, 3 months ago.

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  • #19426
    Profile photo of Shruti
    Shruti
    Participant

    I had a break up a few months back ..after an year long relationship .I thought I shall soon get over it ,but even after 5 months ,I still find myself brooding over it. I still remember everything and every incident clearly even after all my efforts to forget. Even after such a long time I find myself sad and empty inside.I still hope that everything will soon be as it was earlier. I tried a lot to motivate myself,by thinking about my ambitions. But I have slowly begun to realize that is probably depression .And I think that this is because I have no one to share my feelings with. I feel that perhaps an emotional support can be best helpful for a situation such as mine.

    #19427

    Swarup
    Participant

    Hi shruti, it happens usually with everyone after breaking up in their relationships but its not the thing to worry so much. And exactly u are not on depression but as u said u need someone to listen ur problems and to share ur feelings thats it. Its good that u are trying to focus on ur future. So as quick as u move towards ur future needs then automatically u will come out of all the things which u are suffered in the past. Try to convert ur ways of thinking the past, just take only positive things which made u strong and now u will know what are the wrong decisions u hav taken in the past and hope u will not going to repeat it again. And here u can share whatever problems u wanted to share….

    #19433
    Profile photo of Shruti
    Shruti
    Participant

    I used to be a low confident girl before the relationship. It improved me from an introvert. And now that it has ended,I find myself going back to the same state again. I read about what one can do to come out of such stress. One of the suggestions was to mingle with friends.I am not so free and open socially . I have quite a few close friends,but even their consolation seems a formality. Besides,I myself do not like it to admit that the break up has left me so weak. I always had believed that I was very strong mentally. So it has been difficult to realize that the stress and brooding is making me unresponsive to everything happening around me. And moreover,whenever I try to become normal with time,the past memories flash back. Initially, I thought it that this was normal,but as time passed and I am still in the same condition,made me think about depression. The main problem with me right now is that I can find no source of motivation. It seems that I am dragging my life. Whatever I am doing,I am not doing it for myself…

    #19434

    Swarup
    Participant

    It doesnt matter that we have more frds or few frds but we need someone who truly listen to our problems so that we can share everything. You said right everyone will listen to ur problems for a formality and we can’t expect more from people of now a days because everybody are busy with their own life. So try to be strong without anyone, its ur life u has to make it beautiful without anyone’s help. As we meet most of temporary people in life so we cannot aspect all of them will be with us all the time. From many past things u learnt a lot of lessons in ur life so now u can know how people are and whom u have to trust in coming days. Whatever may happens shruti we should not think about it all the time we has take only positive things from that situations then only it will not going to repeat in future.

    #19444
    Profile photo of Shruti
    Shruti
    Participant

    You are right. I should be the one to control my life. I am a student preparing for a competitive exam next year and am trying to focus myself on it. But one thing that still pinches me is that while I have landed myself in such mental situation,that boy suffered nothing. He is always active on social media and seems as happy as ever. As if nothing happened at all. He called me sometime back asking that we could still talk as friends. I could not bring myself to refuse him. Whenever the memories start fading,he calls,and we talk,but very formally. This is the main reason I lose focus every time. I always knew that it was only infatuation,that was growing into an emotional attachment and it would end one day. Still I continued with it .the mistake was of course mine.
    I have a question. Will it be good if I convince myself that I hate the boy? Can it help better?

    #19445

    Swarup
    Participant

    It is not necessary to hate that boy instead of that try to avoid having communication with him so that it will avoid u that being emotionally attach with him once again. Because however u have frdly communication with him but it is quite impossible to forget the past things whenever u will be having contact with him.

    #19446
    Profile photo of Amit
    Amit
    Participant

    Hi shurti,

    By convincing yourself that u hate the boy u will be once again fooling urself like u are doing at the moment by those unreasonable thoughts thats making u depressed. Just focus on those thoughts that made u break up with ur bf. Just continue being freinds with him. Dont be jealous about his social life remember everybody has different goals and purposes in life. No situation or anything can make one happy more than their own thought process. So its not the break up or his active social life or ur dull life thats eating urself up from inside but its ur own unreasonable interpretations about it thats making u go nuts.

    #19456
    Profile photo of Shruti
    Shruti
    Participant

    Perhaps it’s that. So what should I exactly do to cope with it,or get over it??

    #19457

    Swarup
    Participant

    Focusing on ur future and own work instead of thinking about him….

    #19461
    Profile photo of khushi singh
    khushi singh
    Participant

    hi shruti, i have gone through the enitre series of posts.i can truely understand what u r going thru as i have too gone thru all this or may be still going thru this deeply in heart. But shruti no matter what one have to admit the truth. U r left wid no option else accepting the reality and behaving accordingly. U just concentrate on ur work,dont let urself free for a single moment. Ur extremely busy life right now can only help u to overcome the situation and importantly STOP following that guy. ACT STRONG IT IS FOR UR MENTAL & EMOTIONAL PEACE ONLY. LET UR MIND DOMINATE UR FEELINGS RIGHT NOW. This is only the way u can let urself free from this state of depression.

    #19467
    Profile photo of Shruti
    Shruti
    Participant

    I thank you Khushi for your suggestion of keeping myself always busy. This is certainly practically helpful.

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