disabled marriage

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    I am on wheelchair and cant have sex but still want to massage the intimate areas of a busty shaved girl (pussy, breasts and hips). The problem is that I dont know whom to approach and how. I would have loved to marry a girl and then massage her daily but the issue is with my current situation. I cant offer a normal girl sexual pleasure and give her kids nor much support as I myself need support sometimes even though I am quite independent and earning on my own. I have even gone abroad and have fulfilled my fantasy by massaging a prostitute there but it was too costly (4 lacs for 1 massage during US visit). I want to ask if you can guide me if I can get my fantasy fulfilled in India without spending so much on a UK visit and on a consistent basis?

    Sometimes I fantasise of marrying a girl who is imperfect in someway ( like a prostitute, a poor girl without any support or any other imperfection) so I can get to massage her and she can be a support (like a friend) in need as well but again as I am on wheelchair I dont see a healthy girl marrying me.

    The problem with marrying are the 2 doubts I have
    1) After marriage what if the girl just ran after robbing/killing me for my money or even if still married refused to provide me massaging and start having an affair saying I cant satsfy her, asked for divorce on grounds of no sex and end up with half of my money. I know that all these are risks which are too far fetched but since I cant defend myself/assert myself because of my shortcomings so I have these doubts at back of my mind. I dont want to imply this would happen but just have this doubt as someone might marry me for the money and then ran away and I would be worse off.

    2) the second doubt is my own high expectations. when I say, I want to massage someone, it doesnt mean any woman/girl. I am too particular like big natural breasts, shaved vagina, very fair girl, preferabley young. you might consider me vain and think that in my present situation I should be happy with whatever I can get( like 45 year old divorsee) but I dont want emotional support, company or care as much as I am happy alone with my games, tv etc and I am also quite independent though living with my family. so considering the risks, changes associated with marriage and uncertainty of whether I could get my dream girl I am in quandary.

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