Fear of failure

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    It’s my first time here. I am from India. I have been searching since long for psychological help. I don’t know whether i really have to meet a professional. I am struggling with this issue since long , almost 10 years or more. IN my early school days, upto 7th class I was a bright student. But in eights i changed my school and from there onwards a downfall in my education and mental health started up. I have developed some kind of fobia or fear. I don’t know exactly but it may be either fear of success or fear of failure. Means I know i can do the things, but when i start applying logic some kind of blockage gets created in my mind which hampers my thought process. Since childhood i wanted to learn electronics. So I did engineering and then Post Graduation in electronics. But now such is the case that when I see complicated circuit diagram or wiring, that block in mind arise up and then i get unable to think any further. I can feel that fear and blockage in my throat and chest too.I think I am struggling with low self esteem too. Because I can’t argue with anyone. If i did that my heart starts beating very fast and I can’t speak a word and i keep mum and keep on thinking that i could have speak so much. Recently I peed in the bed in sleep. I felt ashamed, i am 30 now. Most of the time i remain alone. I like to be lonely. I am short tempered. Please help me out and this behavior of mine is hamperig my career.

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