November 30, 2012 at 3:24 pm #13264
i m a 3rd year architecture student. i don’t know why i feel skeptical about myself every time. i like helping others n managing things….i volunteer for events…but since past few months…i feel as if i have changed…i don’t want to do all this. i used to talk to people…n make everyone my good friend. everyone in my class expects a lot from me. but when it comes to my expectations, i feel as if i have always been ditched…. i m not able to trust my classmates now.. n this the only only solution to all this is i don’t speak with anyone. and then i just don’t feel like hanging out with anyone. n m a kind of person that what i decide…i do that. i do know that all this is not good for me n nobody else will get affected because of all this. i don’t have any best friend, actually i think i should not make any…because i will again keep a lot of expectations from him/her. i see people around me..they are happy with others n i feel i always annoy people n yes, i get irritated by myself n others too. i feel people just talk to me when they need help from me.. ( i think i need to tell you…this is just for the info….not for the show off kind of thing….but yes..i m one of the most friendly, most sincere, most punctual, dedicated towards work…who finishes off the work on time n is praised by the people n teachers). everyone is a fun loving person n i also want to be with others just for fun. but i think my image in front of the others is just that i m a studious person n will help everyone in need n they can make a fool out of me anytime. i don’t prioritize anyone for a single person….i treat everyone equally…can give time to anyone whenever they want…can listen to people anytime. i just don’t prioritize myself…i try my level best to content people so that they never get disappointed because of me. still, some times when things are not in my hand, m not able to accomplish things n my classmates behave in a bad manner n don’t talk properly. n m sensible enough to smell all this. yes that’s the truth that i take most of the things seriously….i mean i cant make fun out of every thing…i like sarcasm, i like travelling n all, never say no for bunking classes n all. and yes…it does matter to me …what people think of me… and now i m tired of creating a good image of mine. i also know i don’t need to do that, but still, i want to be good n friendly with everyone… n when people just ask me a few things n go away..i feel heart broken….n also feel disgusted of myself. i think i m not worth anything in this life when i cannot socialize properly with the people around me. i blame myself for every little thing n thinks that it could have been solved if i would have shown some extra responsibility towards that thing.
the only solution i find to this problem is that either i become completely selfish n never help others…or i stop talking to all the people around me.
please suggest any other solution for this…..a the earliest. i cant take all this anymore….i feel sick n tired now. +one point- age-wise m the youngest in my class. does this thing make a difference !!? please please please reply asap. thank you
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