This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  venkadesan 3 years, 11 months ago.

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  • #13502

    diya mehra
    Participant

    mam,

    I am 27 years old girl from India. I am professionally chartered accountant and doing tax practice in my city. In my family, I am the youngest child of my parents. My father expired before 19 years. I have mother, aunty and sister, brother and brother’s wife in my family.

    In outside, my life is very good and I am very successful for others. Still I am struggling mentally. My problem is that I can’t find right guy for love or marriage for me. I am belonging to muslim cast where woman rarely gets higher education. As I am highly educated girl. and in my society people only want girl who does house hold work after marriage.

    If I am talking about family background, I always saw my mother and aunty quarreling. But for 3 to 4 years, their nature changed and they behave nicely with each other. My sister has divorced for two times. I am also afraid of getting into relationship or marriage due to seeing her situation. My brother is married but he is also not happy as her wife daily uses her emotionally and getting her work done at any cost. It is one kind of emotional abuse. In that way, sometime I want to be with my life partner but I am subconsciously afraid too for marriage. I am worried how can I get right life partner and If I get, will he support me and love me ??

    I fell in one way love two times. Before 6 months, I met one guy online and we started talking daily. After one month, I started liking him and fell in his love.
    He also confessed that he loved me. we were very happy but his family got objection as My cast was different. His parents decided his marriage with other girl. He also accepted this thing and explained me that our marriage was not possible as in his area there were many cases of honor killing ( parents and people of society kills the couple if they get married in different cast) I accepted his decision but still today I am dying daily as I am missing him but is not as much as I. He accepted this decision easily. I am doubtful about his love now. And my mind says he does not love me and I feel very pain about it. In short , i am failing and unhealthy relationship and does not find any good option that gives me true love.

    Sometimes I feel my parents are also responsible for my situation as they never take care of my emotional need. As I am 27 now but they never try for my marriage. I have to always beg them to do something for me. They always hadn involved in my sister’s condition and ignored my emotions totally. I am simple girl and never argued or harass them. I am totally good child and love them. They love me but never understand my emotional need. The love whom I loved also left me. I am worried that in future this disappointments will make me depressed.

    I am struggling in my profession also. I am getting very few clients. I try to involve my mind in reading professional books. Still I am free. I am getting worried. Please suggest me some solution that This inner conflicts in me get ended and I can keep patience to deal with the situation.

    If you suggests, I ll be thankful to you.

    #15340

    abhicrik
    Participant

    Hello diya,
    Do you do meditation.?
    Cause meditation is really helpful in calming the mind and finding solutions to the external problems
    TC

    #15358

    venkadesan
    Participant

    Since your sister and brother had bitter experience in their marriage life, it doesn’t mean that you life will always be like that. If you are not confident and have fear in your subconscious mind then you will see only the negative things.

    So just have a broad vision towards this world. Many couple are living happily and many couple are got married beyond their cast.

    You first concentrate on your job. Don’t think unnecessarily. Don’t rely on online friends. Try in matrimonial websites. you will get very good partner who will accept your education and higher qualification and will take care of you very well in your religion itself.

    All the best.

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