Help Required

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    R S


    I am a working professional who is facing office related issues. (working since 4.5 yrs with the same organisation)
    2.5 years back my college frnd joined my office after me recommending her to my boss without my parents knowledge.
    In the beginning everything was smooth sailing but after some time work related fights started happening between us as we both work in the same dept at same level. There had been days when I was not given any work from my seniors as they found her to be very efficient. When my parents came to know about we both working together, they did not like it & everyday they taunt me on my decision. Now the situation is such that we are no longer friends nor colleagues. Talk is just work related. I have apologised many times to her for my harsh / rude behaviour & also tried to change myself but always went back to my old ways. Its not that I have always been at fault. There have been times when she was at fault but she never apologised to anyone in office. My seniors & fellow colleagues resort to not talk with her but they come back to their old working ways & assign her more work. I have spoken to my boss as well as seniors that I want to move ahead in my career but I have a feeling that somehow they dont want to see me succeed.
    Also my frnd as well as myself have crush on my young, unmarried Director so when he assigns her work (which is always, unless if she is not there then it is given to me) I feel angry & insecure. I have tried all possible ways to meet the working standard of my organisation but somehow I am not able to fulfill the expectations of my bosses and seniors because they all always compare our work efficiency (me & my friend). Deep down in my heart I always wish & pray that she resigns. (When she joined & I shared my concern about we working together, she said she will resign so that I dont face any problems in my personal life. Her father is a big businessman & she is working in my firm & not assisting her father in his business).
    On friendship day, I did wish her through SMS & wrote that “mistakes do happen, no point holding on to it. Lets be friends like before” but have not received any reply.
    I dont feel like going to office but I cannot leave my job until I find another job which is a task in itself. I dont know how do I deal with this situation as at work how much hard I try to be efficient, my hardwork is not seen & at home everyday I have to listen to my parents taunt which makes me feel guilty & takes me into the past.
    I have tried staying positive & cheerful and not care for anybody but its not helping me. I dont get proper sleep at night because of never stopping thoughts. I feel depressed all the time with no interest in Life.
    I cannot share this with any of my friends as I dont have any close friends nor with my parents because they will not leave any opportunity to make sarcastic comments. I am tied up from all sides & dont seem to find a way out of it.
    My home & office environment is very negative & I dont feel like staying anywhere for long but I dont have a choice.
    Please help me deal & come out of this situation. I wish & want to live a life of purpose & not sail along aimlessly. I want to have my own identity before I get married and settle down in life. Please help me.

    R S

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