This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Amit Amit 1 year, 11 months ago.

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  • #18495
    Profile photo of Apel Ahamed
    Apel Ahamed
    Participant

    Hi ,
    I am 25 , male. I had a miserable childhood i guess. My parents didn’t love each other , I grew up watching them fight everyday many times, and sometimes my father used to do physical abuse to my mother. My mother is kinda less educated village women , clearly she had nothing to do than just go through it , as did i. Unfortunately they both used to physically beat me , when i did things they told not to, in fact almost every day . In third world country this a very common thing i guess , as i have seen this thing many other families. Anyways at age when kid should love their parents most and rely only on them, I used to hate my parents most in this world. But when i did grow up and live away from home , I have seen the horror of outside world and now i dont love anything other than my parents and family. The problem is , its not only that i have had a miserable childhood , it continued further. Almost like all other parents my parents wanted me to become a doctor or engineer to have a secure life in general and tried every possible physical and mental way to put their choice on me. I had other choice and i fought them for it , i used to play decent cricket and wanted to be a cricketer , I did play at the peak of my country ( some of my mates are renowned international Cricketers now ) , but couldn’t carry on alone , with no one to support me financially or mentally, moreover had one decent injury that time. I was always a good student , i did study in to top school and college in my city. My relatives still tell me you are the best student of our families who wasted his talent. Anyway I had this education gap , and now studying in Computer Science. I am already a decent computer programmer and probably will be a good one , right now except few financial problem i have none. My only question , Does medical science have anything to remove past from my memory ? i just want to erase everything i have in my memory and start a new life. They keep coming back, again and again. I know what i m into , I know how to solve this yet i am not strong enough to leave my past behind me. When i see a father kissing his baby and teaching swimming in front of me , i feel joy but tears fell from my eye.This changes every other things going on in me. I rarely have any friend and prefer lonelyness, i did try to make friends but when i could see the inside of the person , i prefer to keep me away . I dont smoke , dont drink, dont like to argue with anyone even if needed. Thank you.

    #18496
    Profile photo of Amit
    Amit
    Participant

    Past does not indicate future. No matter how bad your past could be your present problems are being caused by your thought process that u have now. U just have to change it and u will be all good. Medical science cannot erase past but it can councel u to improve ur present and future by changing ur thought process. Once u see things with this new thought process u will not irrationally think about ur past. U can refer a cognitive behavior therapist or can go for self help online.

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