This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Pari Pari 1 year, 11 months ago.

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  • #18359
    Profile photo of
    Anonymous

    Hi,

    My marriage was arranged in 2012. My mother in law was always against this marriage, some how she has some bad opinions about myself and my mother. She thinks that we will break her relation with her son and she has communicated her worries to my husband. But everything was under controlled and relationship were doing fine well till she visited my mother’s place in 2013; when i gave birth to a girl child. She left my home with my father in law and communicated that my mother has misbehaved her so she left my house within a day and without staying for a longer period. But actually she scolded and mother and left our house and created some wrong stories of bad behaviour of my mother. My husband believes all her complaints and he stopped talking to me. I also didnt share the bad attitude of her mother towards my mother thinking that it will upset him. After few days he told me that he hates my family as they misbehaved her mother during her visit and during that time i tried to explain him that her mother has scolded my mother and she has not told a single bad line to her. But my husband was in fulls support of her mother and he didnt try to know the facts what has happened during her visit. After one month of my delivery i visited first my in laws house for one month with my daughter. there my MIL used to scold me and use bad words about my parents but i silently listened everything. After one month i came to stay with my husband with my daughter. But i found my MIL doesnt leave a single chance of spreading bad words about my parents and me. Though my husband loves me but he has started hating a lot my parents. Its been two years he has stopped talking to my parents and stopped visiting them. Even if i tried to say about the wrong behaviour of his mother; he always supported her. Even he supported her demand of dowry and scolding my mother. Gradually my love for him has started diminishing. I dont have a problem with his love for her mother but i cannt tolerate anymore that he hates my parents. And her mother is always trying to widen our distance rather than working on good relationship. And my husband is appreciating and believing her blindly. I am feeling how can i love and respect a person who hates my parents..Pls suggest a way out so that he can understand the misunderstanding and can start respecting my parents.

    #18365
    Profile photo of Amit
    Amit
    Participant

    Shabana there could be several reasons for ur husband to hate ur parents. So dont think that it is beacuse of that single incident. If he chooses to hate ur parents then its completely his choice and doesnt prove that ur parents are bad or u are bad. Ask ur parents to try to form a more loving and understanding relationship with him. But if he still contines to behave in the same way then accept it. But i am sure his opinions will change and always remember no matter of what he thinks of ur parents u can still have a loving relationship with him. Hating anybody is not a crime and he has a full right to hate even though it may be unnecessary or wrong. Hating ur parents dont make him a bad person so it would be best for u to love him more and sometimes try to lessen his hatred. Do this not by entirely blaming things to his own mother because if there is something wrong between both sides then both sides are more or less equally responsible.

    #18419
    Profile photo of Pari
    Pari
    Participant

    Shaabana,
    If possible call your parents to your in laws place on some occasion. If possible they can also bring some gifts for your MIL specially. See, The way i look at it, things have to flow from your MIL to your husband. She needs to be happy first.
    I understand that you MIL is veryy rigid and cooks stories. So it will be difficult. But you may try…

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