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    Profile photo of Freebird
    Freebird
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    I have had a relationship for 8 yrs before I got married in January 2014. My husband stays and works in the US. He came to marry me and then again went back. I did not want to go on a dependent visa.. so stayed back..with my mom n dad..( his parent’s house is at 4 hrs distance from kolkata and I could not stay with them as I am working in an IT company)…. then took GRE.. and finally am about to go and live with him. But with each passing day I realize that our relationship is getting worse. We never had a smooth relationship even before marriage. But it worsened with more complications after marriage. The problems are mainly due to his irrational behaviour. After all these yrs what I think is that he is mentally not sane. The way he
    reacts to an event..any situation..
    shows how abnormal is his thought
    process. For an example, recently he
    has been suffering from a disease
    which according to all is pretty
    serious. He is bleeding while
    urinating. But after initial treatment
    2 months ago, he stopped seeing a
    doctor.. though he continuously
    bleeds even now. When i ask him to
    go and see a doc, he avoids the
    topic and ignores it and taunts me saying I should stop pretending that I care for him. So, as I am not
    staying with him, I asked his
    roommates to convince him anyhow. But he ended up fighting with them and
    interpreted the whole event as my
    some kind of politics, game, to make
    his life miserable. He believes that I
    am playing politics so that his
    friendship with his friends becomes
    ruined.
    Is this normal? Can a sane human
    being think in this way?
    This was just one example.. there are
    many events like this. In another incident, he interpreted n manipulated my words to think that I insulted his mom before his brother and got so angry that he cancelled a family trip that he planned with both his parents n my parents on the next day.. he did not think about the loss of money.. the amount of insult i had in front of his family who thought i must have said something really bad which led to this huge reaction from him.. till today he believes that it was all my mistake and his reaction was apt…
    In obe incudent he even went out of the way and insulted my parents over the phone saying they are greedy that they have kept all the gold that was given to me on my marriage.. and asked them to return it all. When my dad said that the gold is in my locker, he asked my dad to show proof that the locker is in my name and not in my dad’s name!
    The painful part is no matter how many times I try, i cant make him see that his behaviour is not correct..this thought process is not how a sane person thinks. He continues to justify his activities even today.
    I am very sure he is mentally unwell. He becomes angry for imaginative faults of mine and speaks rudely with me.. using slangs like bitch.. asshole.. witch.
    But he claims that he loves me and
    he seriously does plan his life with me. But I am tired and unable to
    deal with his unreasonable and
    irrational self. What should I do?

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