This topic contains 7 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of khushi singh khushi singh 1 year, 4 months ago.

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  • #19127
    Profile photo of Arshdeep
    Arshdeep
    Participant

    Life seems very difficult. Each day seems like a burden. The only reason m choosing to live is coz of my family coz i know they love me. M in 11th standard and i changed my school this year only. I cannot stop thinking about my old friends.. In 1oth only i started becoming depressed coz maybe that is the time when my health issues started. I am in a constatnt fear of losing everyone i love. I donno y. I feel hurt n in severe pain all the time. I no more like to hangout with friends coz m not able to enjoy the moment. M always grieving. Even when i get the opportunity to meet my old friends i give some excuse coz i know i won’t be able to be happy with them coz i hide my feelings. I feel to tell them how much i miss them but i can’t. So many change their school n remain in touch with oldies but its tough for me. I m so messed up when i meet them i start crying donno i feel so heavy n hurt. I shud smile n enjoy bt i c them n i start crying. It happens often i wanna tell someone all my issues bt m not able to speak up. I feel so vulnerable. I feel like crying n sleeping the whole day.. I want people to understand me be with
    me but i never say that aloud.. I need someone bt i donno what to do now. I feel broken..

    #19133

    Swarup
    Participant

    Hi, so its good that now only u hav understood that life is difficult but u really don’t know still what all u has to face in future. Its just a begging of ur life so don’t think its a burden and all. Life is like that only step by step there will be challenges which u has to face. And one thing u should know is nobody will ne with u all the time, everyone has certain challenges and problems in life so u are the only one who has to lead ur life happily. And also i know how it feels like when we move suddenly leaving our frds and all. So don’t worry its just for a short time then u will going to adjust with new climate and having new frds.

    #19139
    Profile photo of Arshdeep
    Arshdeep
    Participant

    Thanks a lot for writing back (:

    That is a thing, i feel i am going through such a turmoil of emotions at this point if time then when i will grow up its gonna be so much worse.. Life is so unpredictable.. M not able to accept my new friends even if theybr really good to me coz at that back of my mind m just not ready to move on.. Session is ending, n i have spent one year in the new school bt still i feel like going back..

    Plus its not only school change, life in all feels too much now.. I over think a lot and cannot stop doing that.. I get attaches to people and then get hurt easily too.. I no more feel like being happy even.. Just feel like surviving in this cruel world by just passing the time somehow.. And the thing is i have to study too like i get rank 1 by taking too much pressure so there r expectations from me but i no more feel like doing the hard work n achieve something..

    #19141
    Profile photo of khushi singh
    khushi singh
    Participant

    Hey, don’t overthink life is all about changes big or small. We all misses our school and friends and wants to go back in time it happens at times but listen u have a wealth of happy moments in past no one can take those memories from u so let them free they will be urs forever. What I can feel about u is that u r an emotional person which is good but being practical at times is also imp. Let ur mind, heart be free from all these and don’t feel that u r alone we all are here to listen and to share ur thoughts. Try to divert ur mind from friends to studies as of now it should be ur priority. Stay blessed and stay healthy.

    #19143
    Profile photo of Arshdeep
    Arshdeep
    Participant

    Thanks a lot ma’am. I feel good that i can share this stuff out here.
    The thing is ecen if i console myself anyhow about my old friends, there is a cluster of feeling swirling inside mw. N sum days i just feel numb. Like today.. I just feel like sleeping n never waking uo.. Like m tired n i just wanna lay on the bed n sleep after hours of thinking.. I just feel pathetic when i wake uo that again a new day to live.. I don’t feel like repeating the cycle each day.. I just don’t wanna study or do anything but think n sleep n nevee wake up.i donno gow to change my mind on that..

    #19144
    Profile photo of khushi singh
    khushi singh
    Participant

    Hey,u know it’s not about changing ur school or friends it’s just that u have to understand that even after 12th u can only be in touch with ur friends through calls msgs or social networks, can meet them once in a month or sometimes in a year this how it goes. What u r doing these days is a part of depression I have gone through this but for a different situation but not even this will remain forever. U have to prepare ur mind for accepting things the way they are this is life it’s all unpredictable. Have u played any video games?? Think this situation as ur enemy and u are ur hero, now hero always fight for good over evil, get up from bed accumulate all of ur energy,think positive and fight for urself. Tell me something is ur life all about ur friends?? What about ur parents?? U dnt have any responsibility towards ur family. Arshdeep,acceptance is the key word things will keep on changing. It’s a big world Thn y u have created wall around urself. Just try to look beyond that, there is a beautiful world. Come, get up and let’s face it together u in ur life n me in mine. We are heroes. Right??

    #19146
    Profile photo of Arshdeep
    Arshdeep
    Participant

    U are right ma’am, comparison with the video games makes a lot of sense to me.
    N i don’t like accepting stuff also, i need to work on that.
    Sum days when m happy or things r going smooth like just when a day comes after several days when i feel good, minutest of the things happen n i get irritated n upset n they work as a trugger n i again start connecting things n start overthinking. It happens so quick m not able to believe its the old me only.. Like i feel some days that i wanna be like what was i 2 years back in 9th all smiling n don’t caring about the world. Now its so much that if i c sum beggars m like why is this world like this n all again.. Somedays i do feel like fighting the world like once oe twice in a month but then again something happens n feel hurt. M not able to control my emotions n feelings at all.
    N of course i know i have certain responsibilities towards my parents too n that’s why i sometimes control the urge to say somwthing rude in my bmood swings, n sumtimes m not able to..
    Another thing is i don’t do what i feel like, like what my heart says.. Like if i wanna go out n be happy I’ll start thinking all of a sudden no I’ll get happy n i don’t deserve to be happy n then i won’t go n then I’ll just regret n cry.. Many a times i have felt like saying thank you, or i love you to friends for their sweet gestures, even in 9th it used to happen that i wasn’t able to express myself face to face but on chat i wud n then on chat u know things don’t matter that much n r misunderstood.. So many times like example in 9th when a guy bestie when has said my father has bought a car lets go to the canteen, my treat. N i was like from the heart yaya m so happy let’s go but on the face i told him i don’t want to m not coming i don’t feel like.. I always do like that.. I wanna end doing such stuff..i don’t understand y i behave like that.. Even with family.. I also want to do what my instincts say n be happy n its not that i regret later i do such things on the moment n i regret even before doing them..

    #19244
    Profile photo of khushi singh
    khushi singh
    Participant

    Hi arshdeep, I feel this has nothing to do with ur friends. Tum hamesha se hi APni feelings ko suppress karte aye ho, ek bar Apne dil Ki baat man ke use Kar ke Dekho tum uspe itna Kyu Sochne lagte ho. Hamesha itna bada kuch Hota Nahi hai jitna hum Uske bare mai Soch k use bana lete hain. Jab bhi ise padho Uske bad kuch light music Sunna, music jo Bht Acha feel karaye, ankh band Kar ke, Uske bad uthana or jo sabse zada pasand ho Insan use hug Karna u will feel relax. Thoda nature main time spend Karo trust me Bahut kuch learn karne ko Milta hai. Apne DiMag ko kuch relax Karo. Bahar Jao kahi ghom ke aao ho sake to 1-2 din k lie. Apna precious time waste mat Karo life zada Badi Nahi hoti HAr sal bas yuhi nikal jata hai. Try to Kar k Dekho Thoda positive articles read Kia Karo, jitna positive sochoge utna zada strong ban paoge aur why do u think Ki u don’t deserve good things and all…learn to love urself, respect urself, ur soul needs ur love first baki to bad Ki bat hai…

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