- September 23, 2014 at 9:24 am #13848
MY NAME IS SHAIJAL AND I’M 24 YEARS OLD. I WAS BORN IN A POOR FAMILY AT A SMALL CITY IN KERALA. NOW I’M WORKING WITH A RETAILING COMPANY AS AN ACCOUNTANT.AND I’M A B.COM GRADUATE.
I SUFFERED SO MUCH STRUGGLE IN MY LIFE DUE TO FINANCIAL CRISIS. I HAVE A ONLY SMALL AMOUNT AS MY SALARY. WITH THAT I CANNOT SOLVE A SINGLE PROBLEM IN MY FAMILY. I HAVE TWO YOUNGER BROTHERS AND MY PARENTS IN MY HOME. WE ARE LIVING IN A RENT A HOUSE NEAR CALICUT CITY. WE WERE LIVED BEFORE THIS AT WAYANAD DISTRICT TILL LAST YEAR ( 2013 JULY ) .
MY CHARACTER IS VERY STRANGE. I FEEL SHAME TO TALK WITH GIRLS. AFTER PASSED IN 10TH CLASS.IF I TALK A GIRL FEELING SHAME OR FEELING BAD. I GOT A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GIRL SERIOUSLY. AND AFTER THAT I NEVER A TALKED A GIRL. ONLY TALKING FEW GIRLS IF IT IS NOT HAVE ANY WAY . I ALWAYS MAKE GOOD FRIENDSHIP WITH EVERY ONE. BUT BETWEEN THAT I’LL BEHAVE SOMETIMES STRANGELY AND FRIENDS WILL LEAVE ME WITH BEING ANGRY ( GIRLS & BOYS ). BECAUSE OF THAT I HAVE ONLY FEW FRIENDS. MY BEHAVIOR IS ARROGANT TYPE. AND MY GIRL FRIEND RELATION LAST TILL LAST YEAR. I’M READY TO MARRY HER. AND MY FAMILY IS ALSO SUPPORTED US. BUT MAY BE BECAUSE OF MY FINANCIAL SITUATION SHE WAS IGNORED ME AND MARRIED A GOOD RICH MAN. THAT WAS A SHOCK FOR ME. I LEFT MY JOB SHIFTED WITH MY FAMILY HERE IN CALICUT. IT IS BEING 1 YEAR I’M NOT RELEASED FROM THAT SHOCK. I WAS TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDE 2 MORE TIMES. AND IT WAS FAILED UNFORTUNATELY. NOW I JUST BEING SO BAD , GOT NEW HABIT TO WATCH ANOTHER GIRLS IN A BAD WAY. BE FRANK I’M BEING A BAD BOY. AND I WANT TO BE GOOD ALWAYS. AFTER THAT INCIDENT I’M NOT PRAYING, I’M A MUSLIM WE HAVE TO PRAY 5 TIMES IN A DAY BUT NOW I’LL GO ONLY FRIDAY ONE TIME . WHEN I PRAY I FEEL SAD AND ALWAYS FEEL FOR CRYING ( I’LL CRY ALSO ). NOW I HAVE SOME GIRLS AS MY FRIENDS THOSE HELPING ME RECOVER FROM THIS. BUT I’M NOT RECOVERING ( 2 GIRLS IS MY FRIEND’S LOVERS & 1 GIRLS WAS WORKED WITH ME AND 1 IS MY EX GIRL FRIEND’S BEST FRIEND ). ALSO MY FAMILY PROBLEMS ARE INCREASING. AND GETTING SO MUCH STRESS FROM MY FAMILY. ALSO I CANNOT HANDLE THE PRESSURE OF MY JOB. ALSO I SHARE MY PAIN & PROBLEMS WITH GIRL FRIENDS ONLY ( ALWAYS I NEED TO HIDE MY PAIN FROM THEM , BUT I CANNOT, I’M SHARING MY PROBLEMS WITH MY BOY FRIENDS )I HAVE 5 BEST FRIENDS THOSE ALWAYS LIKE ME ( TO UNDERSTAND MY CHARACTER AND BEHAVIOR ). ALSO I STARTED TO WATCH BAD MOVIES THAT I NEVER DID BEFORE.
I ALWAYS WANT TO BE GOOD PERSON. AND I WANT TO START MY PRAYS AGAIN. I ALWAYS FEEL TO SUICIDE AGAIN. I CANNOT CONCENTRATE ON MY WORK ALSO I’M BEING SO LAZY, BECAUSE OF THAT I WAS SLEEPING AT MID NIGHT AFTER 12.30. AND WAKE UP AT 8 O CLOCK FOR GOING TO OFFICE. WHAT SHOULD I DO FOR BEING A GOOD BOY.
IF IT IS GOING SAME WAY MAY I’LL BE A MAD BOY OR I’LL COMMIT SUICIDE. HELP ME FOR RECOVER FROM HER MEMORIES. I’M WORKING IN A COMPANY THERE I DON’T TO LIKE TO TALK ANY OF MY COLLEAGUE. BECAUSE THEY ALL ARE BAD. BUT I’M TALKING SOME OF THEM AND THEY HATING ME BECAUSE OF MY ARROGANT PERSONALITY . I WANT TO BE A GOOD PERSON. EVERYONE HAS TO LOVE ME. BUT I CANNOT BE THAT. EVEN I HATE LIVE IN MY FAMILY ALSO. I HATE MY PARENTS AND I HATE MY BROTHERS. WHAT SHOULD I DO. JUST TELL ME SHALL I HAVE ANY RIGHT TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD OR I HAVE TO FINISH MY LIFE OR NOT.September 24, 2014 at 3:11 pm #15567
i Dont know if i am right or wrong but i am trying to express my views…
1) You are still not ready to accept dat your gal has left you.. n indirectly or directly you are blaming ur fmly financial condition fir it dats y u have started living aloof n away from ur fmly. TRY TO STOP… N SPENT TIME WD FMLY..CAUSE ONLY FMLY SUPPORT U IN ALL UPS N DOWNS NO ONE ELSE.. ALWAYS REMEMBER DIS
2) life is life n not films we often grow up wd loads of fantacy dreams but truth of life is bitter ..n if god (alllah) has destined some thing we need to acept. -START UR PRAYERS FROM TODAYS EVEN IF U DONT FEEL GOOD. ITS SAYING IF U CRY DURING PRAYERS UR NEGETIVITY IS COMING OUT.. LET UR PAIN , FAILURE , UNFULFILLED DREAMS PAIN COME OUT …. IT WILL MAKE U FEEL RELAXED (INNER HAPINESS)
DONT STOP PRAYING…..N BELEIVE ON OWN. GOD BLESS …..
WE OFTEN LOOSE HEART WHEN WE FACE PROBLEM IN OUR OWN LIFE….. BUT REMEMBER ALL ARE UNHAPPY N STRUGGLING IN SOME OR OTHER WAY,BUT WE OFTEN FEEL GOD IS UNKIND TO US(ME) DEN REMEMBER “GOD TAKES EXAMS OF HIS CHILD WHOM HE LOVE MOST”September 29, 2014 at 12:51 pm #15582
first i want to tell you that leave thought of suside because if anybody suside that means he will has to do this again and again till 7 lifes and he will get many many punishment for this because he disrespect his life that is gifted by god . he kill himself. God gifted you this and you should respect this.
Rashmi told you that is correct and follow this .
Now my dear friend i am telling how you will be good boy and again get your lost confidence .
Promise yourself that i will Never apologize myself. I try to make better but if i will not be successful i will not dipressed.
Dear Friend in this world both things exists good and bad. Everbody is good and bad also nobody is completely good and bad. So take away tension and try which is in your hand.
1 when you going to sleep lay down start to see your breathing when it comes in and when it comes out.
2 now say youself i am peaceful , joyful and powerful , i am son of god.
(remember all qualities which have father a son also have them) my father give me this good opportunity and my father i am thankful to you for it
3 please please please help me allah help me i am yours and you are mine. i am same as like you because i am your son.
Left all the things which you have done wrong and see your future only
if you lost your present to think about your past then nothing you can do. so first stop think about your past and make you present then your future will be good.
4 When you wake up in morning pray for allah that give me joy , give me power , give me your love and your peace . help me help me help me
i am your and you are mine.
Now one more thing try to meditate how
Go to maszid or you can do it in your home
sit down on a carpet
make attention on your breath when it comes in or comes out
Fill it, Fill it more deeply for at list 10 minutes
after practice you can increase time
start to read sant kabir
Forget which is going on in your life make your present strong
do this and see the result
God bless you
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