This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Pari 2 years, 1 month ago.

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  • #18547

    Shona
    Participant

    hello
    I am 21 years old and I am in a very complicated relation. I have been in a relation with this guy named khan for past 3 years. we have had on nd off relation.. Off once when he was double dating and I found it v broke up for 10 months. When i say we were in a relation let me say v were in a live in relation. nd He is the first one i ever had such a relation with. I’ve had previous bfs but never have I been mentally or physically close to anyone. When I broke up…that is the 10 months gap..his frnd had approached me..nd I had been with him…but things were pretty bad wid him nd I had broken it off. afta 10 months when i gt back with hafiz..i did nt want to hide the truth so i did tell him everything..he had said he had forgiven me den…but every time v fought there after he brought up a topic…welll to talk abt him i shud say he is d son of parents hu make millions nd he lavishly spends.I am from a middle class family. H e has been doin enngineering for 7 years nd still hasnt completed it..around 20 back papers. he and his family has money so nothing worrys him. i have tried fixing him alot bu never happened…once i gt so fed up nd wen i decidded to break up nd started acting accordingly he blackmailed me dat he wud put my pics in d internet nd send it to my parents as well…getting scared I AGREED to b wid him…n later on he became better nd he said he said all that just to get my attention nd control me nd he wud never do such stuff. things werent normal ever since then. I was so hurt and shocked i just couldnt believe the person hu had to protect me was exposing me
    and then fights wud begin….he wud give me attention nd i wudnt b able to give everythin bak….since last weeek he had been ignoring me….nd in anger i called him…i said bad stuuf…i said i dun want yu..nd i burnt his pic nd him pics of dat….i was so angry nd upset..i couldnt understand y he din want me or was ignoring me. i feel if i leave him it will be easier for me to forget him but if he leaves me i cant…last timme wen v broke up i used to drink nd smoke alot…..that sumwhere gave me a relief from d breakup…dis tym due to health probs i cant drink or smoke…neither do i want to….now he is saying this monday he is leaving to malaysia….i have lost him frever..i think im losing hm too…he is nt fightin fr dis relation or doin anythin abt it…he is coming to meet me to burn d gifts i gave him infront of me……i jus cant bear with all dis…im so tired….nd week..nd so hurt…3 years of my life just went…what was d meaning of all dese…i dunnno….i need help…i dun have anybody to open up to…please

    #18563

    Swarup
    Participant

    hi shona, nothing is happened wrong or closed in ur life. still u have much more time decided ur life partner. You are making urgent relationships from comparing others and to feel safe but there is also lot of things are there which u should u have to think for future. if these guys went out from ur life then u will not going to loose anything. if u think u loved him really then they r the losers. For all this things u don’t need to take any drink or smoke. You just has to focus on ur goals. if u do that then all the other things Will come to u automatically. And think u r not in anybody’s control or u should not make anybody to control ur life. You are the only one who can make ur life beautiful.

    #18568

    Amit
    Participant

    u are so emotionally dependent on him that u are only seeing the positive out of him when anybody will easily tell u by what u have writtern that for u he is not a good choice to be with. just find more ways to enjoy life and dont give up to alcohol or smoke. When u give up everytime and agree to whatever is being said then people can manipulate u and deep inside they might think u as a burden who cant take care of herself and will collapse without them. Take full responsibility of ur emotional life and understand ur happiness depends on your own thought process and not on anybody else.

    #18644

    Pari
    Participant

    Dear Shona,
    Please let him go from your life..You will have a better life to think about other things than this relationship.
    Trust me you boyfriend will never forgive you for being with his friend even for few months. Also the details which you have mentioned in the mail makes it clear that even you know that he is not “The BEst ” for you. Even you dont trust him”… so let him go girl…and be alone for sometime. Enjoy your freedom, you deciding for youself, not being answerable and also plan for your life ahead….

    SMILE

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