I feel as if I am trapped in my own head

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    I am a 20 years old girl studying civil engineering at a pretty prominent college. But the fact is, I do not like the subject at all (had chosen it post AIEEE since I didn’t have any other option) and prefer creative stuff related to English like writing stories, poems or just staring at the night sky, stargazing.
    I am my parents’ only child and they have pampered me to the T so no issues there.
    But since I graduated to class 11 (science stream), I have been having this kind of “weird” feelings in my head. Frequent and sudden mood swings, forgetting stuff which are supposed to be important and getting the feeling that my mind is kind of on a bullet train speed….sometimes I feel as if the world has slowed down to a tenth of its original speed. Then suddenly, my mind shuts down completely and I feel hellishly tired, as if I had been running physically.
    People say that I am pretty emotionless but I don’t know…I can understand what the people feel but when I try to put my emotions in words, they kind of get stuck in my throat and do not come out. I get joy out of wandering in new places, lying under a tree and staring through the foliage etc. and my friends find them weird and “not normal”. Procrastination has been my vice for years but sometimes, I feel as if my body doesn’t obey me–I deliberately leave stuff for the later to get that adrenaline rush of tension of doing stuff at top speed. I find normalcy boring.
    When I listen to music, I feel as if I can actually see colours swirling around in my mind’s eye in an “Aurora Borealis” kind of way.
    Sometimes I feel very affectionate towards people, sometimes very distant.
    I feel like I am going crazy….Please help!

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