I need help, about this bad mental state which isn’t even allowing me to study. There’s this person (among a lot of other as well, but concentrating on the present) who is deeply admired by almost everyone he talks to, I WANT TO KNOW BUT CAN’T FIND WHAT KIND OF MAGIC HE’S DOING. Even my best buddies are falling for his charm. And I feel really really jealous. To me, he’s a complete #$#$#%. I hate him like anything, I don’t know how he achieves that kind of likability (I guess I want to be admired too)
I just feel dumb, and HATEFUL TO EVEN MYSELF, whenever I find my friends liking him extremely, leading me to doubt that they’re choosing him over me. IT’s like, so sad. Extreme pain in the heart.
And I can’t study a thing after this. Don’t have anyone in the whole world to tell this..
I don’t know what exactly I want. I guess I want to learn some people skills, something to make me inviting and liked by people, and I guess I want my friends to love me more than other people like him.
Also, he can talk to whomever he wants. Any stranger, any girl. I can’t. Want to, so deeply, but I can’t. Not experienced, I guess. Damn.