This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Swarup 1 year, 6 months ago.

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  • #19518

    yaritoko
    Participant

    I dono wat my life is taking the shape… my life seems meaningless to me…. I could only remember one thing…. the first time we met our eyes it was the best evnt that evr occured to me…all those lines of the poems,songs,novels seemed to have come alive just like that….. I love him truly very much …but I needed to get clear of myself that I was truly in love….I was confused of my feelings but still a part of me believed it was something I can never forget evn if I wanted to…. n so my instincts turnedout to b true… I was really in love..very deep.i think about him everyday… as I m writing this I m having head ache now for I ve been crying the whole day delved in his thoughts cursing him, cursing myself ,cursing everyone, cursing my life….clueless.

    #19521

    yaritoko
    Participant

    But I was always ashamed of myself…n I olwsys thought I nevr deserved him… so I refused evn to talk…I just wanted to b better for him ..I wantd us to b equal. He was like noone else n he captured my heart. I was ashamed of my flaws thst made me hide from him.so I never thought it was the ripe time asking him to accept me. I wanted him to marry me so that he ll b mine forever n I don wana think about nyone better in near future…I just hate the thought of hoping for a better guy cos he was everything I needed n it ld really b a big insult to my love if I ever thought of someone better to get cos he is my true choice n hes all mine,I m having it hard to express I kno…but thinking about someone elses replacement to him makes me sad for him cos hes truly a good person n he deserves all my love..n I really want him badly..I loved him not by looks or that he was so cool n me a nerd …I just loved! innocent guy truly purehearted n precious ..I just want him to b mine n only mine. But I left that school cos my grades were degrading tremendously…my mind had become a blank sheet of paper n I never regretted being on his thoughts instead of opening my book n studying like I olways did…cos I deemed every bit of him more important than nything else….n his cute innocent face makes me even more crazier …

    #19522

    yaritoko
    Participant

    N u kno I submitted blank paper on my exams… n he saw me doing that.he was just behind me… it was embarrassing though …but wt could I fo nothing mattered to me nymore than him…n also since the beginning I was having trouble adjusting there …with those bitchy gurls of our hostel… I was a quite person …n I never spoke much. I never knew how to speak.dumb as hell.the reason u kno I lisped through speaking…I was olways self conscious. So everybody projected me somewhat like a ghost.lonely soul.i tell u I never liked myself…I m different than wat I appear outside out of compulsion… so much to fight for… n added to that was a total stranger who ripped my heart away.

    #19528

    Swarup
    Participant

    Hi, in which things u think you are not suitable for him…? and did u told him about how much u love him..?

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