This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  RheaSubra 3 years, 7 months ago.

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  • #13623

    abhilasha
    Participant

    I m 24 yrs old a married woman…before 10 months(may 2013) I got married…its love cum arrange marriage…my problm is before my husband I was inrelationship with one of my collegemate(in 2009)..jst for 6 mnths. We had nevr been physical..jst used to talk on ph. And once we met for coffee at a public place…bt then I realize I m doing wrng wid my parents..and I broked up wid him…even uske bad bhi he tried alot to come back in my life..bt I nvr allowed..when my husband comes in my life through my parents..we started talking as friend..and he asked me k mera koi past h kya..to maine nhi bataya mujhe laga k kahi isse humari rwlationship me koi prblm na aaye..bt shadi fix hone k pahle hi mere facebook k ek conversation se use sab pata lag gya..maine apni bst frnd se ye sb bate share ki thi k kya mujhe use apne past k bare me batana chahiye ya nhi…mere husband ne ye sab padh k mujhse pucha tha to maine sab sach bata diya…bt tb use koi prblm nhi thi…vo pahle ki tarah hi mujhse bat karta tha..fir humari engagement ho gyi..meri engagement k teen mahine bad hi mere sath ek medical issue ho gya..there was something like clotting in my vagina..I show it to a female doctor n she said we actually can nt say what it is without examine it…n for it we will have to use machines…jisse meri hymen seal toot jati…maine doctor se bataya k meri shadi hone vali h…to unhone ne kaha k isse koi ferk nhi padega bcoz now a days its normal…my parents was worried abt me…coz doctor said it can be coz of cancer. .bt muhhe ye shi nhi laga…maine apne fiance ko sb bataya..aur bola k aap dusre kisi se shadi kar lo…then he said u r important for me…nthng else…mujhe ek support mila aur unke samne sab kuch bat huyi doctor se…doctor ne bola operate karke vo clot nikalna padega..he was ready for tht…operation ho gya…sb theek ho gya…uske 3 mnth bad humari shadi ho gyi..shadi k ek mahine tak to sab theek chala..par fir pata nhi inhe kya ho gya…agar main raste me chal rhi hu aur kisi male ne meri taraf aankh utha k bhi dekh liya to vo usme meri galti nikalte hain…maine apne kisi mail frnd se hi hello bhi kar liya to bhi vo mujhpe gussa karte h..maine apni sari social networking id close kar di..sabse doori bana li…sare frnds se baat karna band kar diya…fir bhi vo mujhe hamesha galat tehrate rahte h…har baat pe mujhe mere ex ka naam le k tane dete rahte h…ma ki galiya…he calls me by prostitute…agar ek glas pani dene me jara sa late ho jaye to bhi galiya…main apne sasural me rahti hu..aur vo weekend pe aate hain…monday ko jate samay sab accha rahta h par shaam tak vo ladayi kisi na kisi bahane kar lete hain..fir friday ko aane par main unhe manati hu varna vo room me bhi nhi aate….aur is beech vo mera ph bhi nhi pick karte..aisa nhi h k main kuch nhi bolti…mujhe bhi gussa aa jati h to humare beech arguments hote h bt maine kabhi koi abusive language nhi use ki…sabko laga k main unse door rhti hu isliye shayad aisa hota h…isliye main unke pas rahne chali gyi…bt vo sirf tab tak mujhse pyar se behave karte jab tak unki physical need hoti..uske bad fir se vahi rude behaviour. ..fir bhi har tarah se apne marriage ko save karne me lagi rhi..dec 2013 main apne mayke aa gyi…meri maa ki tabiyat bahot kharabbthi..she had tuberculosis..n doctor suggested me to be away from her…ek bar vo mummy ko dekhne aaye…aur mummy ko vomiting ho rhi thi to main unke pas khadi ho gyi…bas is baat ko le ke vo shuru ho gye…k unke pas padu rho tum tumhe tuberculosis hua to main tumhe talak de dunga..main tumse ub chuka hu…to maine b keh diya k vo meri maa h main unhe chor k nhi jaungi bhale hi main mar jaun…apko jo karna h kar lo….unhone mujhe bahot galiya di ph pe…aur msgs kar rhe the galiyo vale…mujhse nhi jhela ja rha thabvo sab…maine unhe mana kiya k plz ab bas kariye mujhse kuch galat ho jayega…bt he didnt stop…n I hve drunk phenyl….jaise hi unhone ye suna mere ghar pe sabko ph karke bataya aur khud turant aaye aur mujhe hospital le gye..aur us puri rat vo mera hath pakad k mere pas baithe rhe…main 5 days hospital me rhi..vo bahot roye the mere samne…kaha k main bahot pyar karta hu tumse tumne aisa kaise kar liya…mujhe nhi pata k vo pyar tha ya police ka dar…par muhhe pyar hi laga…mujhe laga k sab theek ho gya par ek hafte beetate hi sab pahle jjaise ho gya…muhhe unke sath rahne me bhi dar lagta tha…ek bar inhone mere bhai se kaha k vo mujhe apne pas le ja rhe hain..bhaiya ne mujhse pucha to maine kaha k mujhe chain se kyu nhibjeene dete aap sab log…main vaha jaungi vo fir ladayi shuru karenge so bhaiya ne unhe mana kar diya…to uspe vo bole k to jindagi bhar use apne pas hi rakhiye.. aur bahot si ulti seedhi bate kahi…aur apne ghar pe sabko mere character ko le k bahot bhadkaya…he said to their family tht I had physical relationship wid my ex…and operation ek bahana tha sach chupane ka…tht I m nt virgin….bt its nt truth…I love him alot..main unse alag ho jinda nhi reh paungi…I dont know wat to do…mujhe ab bhi lagta h k vo mujhse pyar karte h bt sirf apne ego ki vajah se show nhi kar pate…I had tried alot..to save my marriage…bt it seems everything is over now…wat to do… plz help me..

    #15391

    RheaSubra
    Participant

    Hello Abhilasha,

    Aapki problem bohot saari mahilaaon ke saath hota hai. Main aapko ek simple si baath batati hoon. Agar aapke husband aap se pyaar karte hain aur bhagvaan chahte hain ki aap dono ka rishta bana rahe , toh ye zaroor hoga. Aap himmat math haariye.

    Pehle aap apne husband ko a email ya to letter likhiye. Agar aap phone pe baath karengi toh phor shaayad aap apni baath puri tarah se na bata payengi. Ek hi email mei apni saari man ki baath aap clearly likh doh. Joh bhi aapko bolna hai aap ek calm tareeke se batayiye. End mei aap unhe batayiye ki aap unse kitna pyaar karti hain, aur aap unke bina nahi reh sakti hain, aur aapke life mei unki jaga koi nahi le sakta hai, aur aapne apni poori life mai kisi aur mard ko nahi chhooa hai. Aur apne feelings describe karne ke baad aap apna ek clause cleary mention kijiye
    “Mai aapke paas wapas aongi, lekin, aap apne aap ko badhalne ki koshish kijiye. Main aapka intezar karoongi. aap mujhse jhagda math kijiye, mujhe shakh math kijiye, mujhe taane math maro, mera saath dijiye.”

    Agar itna sabh karne ke baad bhi kuch nahi hua to phir aapki galati nahi hai. Aapne koshish ki. Lekin himmat math hariye. Koi bhi pyaar ke bina nahi marta. Aap apne pati ka intezaar kijiye

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