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  • #13717
    Profile photo of nabaneeta
    nabaneeta
    Participant

    hi, an earnest request: pls dont read n go…any suggestions will be considered…even a small effort…i knw none here…but still m searching for that helping comment…well an advance thank u for nebody who suggests…thank you…!
    details as follows
    marriage date: november 2013
    family briefing: mother in law(A): home maker
    father in law (B): govt employee (4 yrs of service remaining,stays in govt qtrs with A)

    brother in law (C): persuing research work in France
    sis in law (D): persuing research in Mumbai,India.
    stays at respective hostels..maried since feb 2013

    husband(E): works in a financial organisation
    me(F): currently homemaker,was in the same field as E for the past 4 yrs.

    Past scenario: D has stopped all interaction with A & B due to their constant abuse n misbehavior over phone.the problem currently persists as C calls up A n B everyday n A & B always tries to give bad feedbacks regarding D.

    my problem: same as C and D. My in laws are like fault finding machines AND always give different infos regarding same matters to diff members. like they always builds up good image in front of their sons regarding D n F but just the opposite to D n F.Hence the sons have the idea that their parents love their daughter in laws but the scenario is different.Now even things have opened up still the sons deny to confront their parents n r diplomatic most of the times.it actually shatters me up as A n B’s prime concern is to seperate D n F from C n E and also a divide n rule policy between C n E. incidents r many….

    info: A n B r totally unsocial…even wid their own families and also wid the families of two daughter in laws. my mom in law is jealous or what i dont know if I call up n chat with my dad in law.she cannot withstand that. no couple here is dependent on other couple,still things persists as my mother in law cant withstand any of the daughter in laws or ne other ladies who ever that may be.

    what steps should I take…? incidents not discussed yet as it may make the thing more long. hence if I cud get some help n if questions asked I can answer. its affecting our family life like anything.pls help

    #15444
    Profile photo of RheaSubra
    RheaSubra
    Participant

    Hi,

    In-laws problem exist world wide. Let me suggest something. Have a meeting with you husband and his brother and his wife. Discuss the issue. They wont confront their parents because they wouldnt want to let them down. As long as your husband is ready to support you, you have nothing to worry about. Ignore your in-laws. Dont do what your mother in law doesnt like. Dont piss her off basically. If she says rubbish about you to your husband, make sure your husband knows she’s lying. Build that trust with your husband. No drastic step is going to change your mother-in-law. Ignorance is bliss. But make sure your husband supports you. Thats of utmost importance. As long as he knows his mother is lying there is nothing to worry about. He doesnt have to confront her. But he should fight with you because of his mother’s stories. And this is possible only with a strong trust and a heart to heart conversation.

    Good Luck!

    #15452
    Profile photo of guest 2
    guest 2
    Participant

    Hi I’m new here and am just looking for a bit of advice. I am currently dating a woman who herself is a psychologist so I need a way to approach her and help her understand how I feel without causing issues in our relationship or to find out if my feelings are wrong and if I need to deal with them myself. You see she lives with her older sister who is very well off, she has a child but never gives the child any attention unless she really feels like it. Everytime the child dirty’s her nappy my girlfriend must clean it and my girlfriend must feed her my girlfriend must bath her my girlfriend must always do everything. Its really annoying me and it is beginning to feel like this is my child but yet I can’t discipline her in anyway. This morning my girlfriend and I were asleep and at 5am her sister who is in the room next door phones her and tells her to come fetch her child so that she can sleep. I mean really now come on. It feels like all my girlfriend ever does is look after this child. I know its not the childs fault and all but my girlfriend won’t open her mouth and say a thing. Last week the mother was actually sitting with her child for once and my girlfriend was asleep in the room on my lap wen again the mother of the child her sister didn’t even stand up and come ask her to change the childs nappy but instead she phones her from the lounge now please am I wrong for getting so upset and if not how will I address the matter?

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