This topic contains 7 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Swarup 2 years, 1 month ago.

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  • #18413

    Julia Thomas
    Participant

    I’m engaged to be married to a wonderful man in December this year. Everything is perfect. We fell in love, 2 years ago, our families love each other and everything fell in place just like it should have.
    We are crazy about each other but we get into constant arguments..terribly disturbing arguments. And they’re most of the times because of my insecurities. Beginning of our relationship, my fiancee had cheated on me with his colleague. After a long time, I forgave him. Few months later, he was meeting a girl behind my back. He didn’t get physical with this girl but yet he lied. Ever since these incidents, IVE been scarred. I haven’t been able to trust him. I know he’s changed. There are days I can trust him blindly. And then a few changes in his schedule, and I lose my head again. I call him umpteen number of times, text him asking him for snapshots of his chat messages. Recently I logged into his facebook account and changed his password. I gave it to him a few mins later voluntarily. I just needed to look into his chat history because he seems to be online ALL THE TIME. This isn’t about him. IT’s so hard to trust him sometimes and then i spam him with a million texts/ calls. I’m behaving crazy. And I’m ashamed of myself. I’ve tried a lot but I keep losing my head. It makes me so sad that despite everything being so perfect, and us being so much in love, we’re constantly fighting. Recently, his brother told me I’m being too clingy and I need to give him his space. Nobody knows what he did to me In the past because I don’t want people to look down on him. We are really crazy about each other. I don’t wanna ruin this relationship because of what happened in the past. And also, as a person, I’ve become too much to handle, i realize Im being too clingy. I used to be really secure. Pls help me. I csnnot talk to anyone else about this because I don’t want anyone knowing about the mistakes he made in the past and let them judge him.
    I really care about this relationship. Im craving to have my peace of mind restored and be my old self again.

    #18422

    Swarup
    Participant

    Hi julia, when u are telling that he has changed then why u got so much doubt about him. It is hobiously everyone will have doubts when their lover is online without texting them. It does not mean everybody is cheating but it depends on us how we take it as. Ya i can understand ur doubt on him as the things happened in past . But now he is ur fiancee , u have rights to ask him all the things u wanted to know so clearly talk with him and clarify all the things between u both because it should be done before marriage. So if u had anything in ur mind don’t keep it in ur mind clarify it as quickly as possible.

    #18423

    Julia Thomas
    Participant

    Hi Swarup, thank you for your response.
    Yes you’re obviously right. We’re engaged now and things are better now. Sometimes I lose my head. I’m trying to gain control over my emotions.
    Thank you for your message. It was very helpful

    #18424

    Swarup
    Participant

    You are welcome Julia and i wish u all d best for ur future.

    #18436

    Amit
    Participant

    So what even if he flirts with millions of girls that does not prove he is bad or he loves u less. Even if u tell people about his bad past(might not be bad in reality) that wont make him worthles. Though people might think he made foolish mistakes but Nobody would disown or look down upon him. If u feel insecure then u are much responsible for that and not him flirting. I would strongly insist u to look more rationally towards him because if u continue with this behavior then he or his family might become repulsive of u. So instead of demanding him to behave in a certain way just politely let him know that u dont feel good about his behavior and request him to change. This can work for u> Always remember a scientific fact – Changing your own expections to an extent is much more convinient, satisfying, better and rational then changing other people in the long run.

    #18446

    Julia Thomas
    Participant

    Thank you for your response Amit.
    You’re absolutely right , especially about modifying our expectations from people.reakly appreciate it.things have settled down now and I’m working on all of the above .
    Thanks again !

    #18540

    kudrat
    Participant

    Is anyone there? I need some help.

    #18543

    Swarup
    Participant

    hi kudrat u can share whatever the problem u have then we will try our best to solve it.

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