This topic contains 5 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  lindsey_sooze 3 years, 2 months ago.

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  • #13734

    lily
    Participant

    Hi,

    I really need a help from some one to conclude on my problem. I am in a relationship with a Hindu boy and I am a roman catholic. Yes the problem here is our families are not agreeing for this(as expected).. My guy says that we wait for few years so all will calm down and accept us.. whereas my family says I need to marry a catholic guy.. they say marriage is between two families n not just two ppl..they say we wont be happy n wil be leading a guilty life.. I sometime feel what they say might be true,… but I just dont feel like letting him go.. he is stern in his dicisson and says to me that everything will be alright.. I am not sure what to do… My mother has took a lot of pain in raising me after my father passed away.. she is completely broken with all this.. what should I do??

    #15455

    varshasingh06
    Participant

    Hey
    First thing first- are you both financially independent. What your age and his. Are you guys studying or doing job. Most importantly marriage is not priority of life but being financially independent is. If you both are earning and can afford your life together without support nof your parents both side then go ahead and get married with or without family consent. Perfect happy marriage is just a myth. Every marriage has problems love arrange same cast inter cast any marriage you take, none is perfect. And there is no guarantee that you would lead a happy life with a catholic giy. If you marry a person of your choice thn atleast you would not lead a life with regrets. But make it sure if that guy is just doing time pass with you till his family finds a bride for you or he seriously want to marry you. Believe me if a guy says that we would marry only with my parents consent would never keep you hapoy. Leave him immediately as you are never going to be his priority and he would hang up with you only till his family finds a suitable match for him. But if he truly lives, he would marry you no matter who supports or not. So ask him to marry you and not wait so that you will get a clear picture of his heart. And please first be independent. You will lead your life with anyone if u are earning well. Hope it will help. [email protected]

    #15471

    lily
    Participant

    Thanks much for your support here!

    yes we both are independent and are working. Quoting from what you said”Believe me if a guy says that we would marry only with my parents consent would never keep you hapoy”- i am a little concerned here.

    he says we shall wait for another year(because both of us have few career plans) for parents consent,& even after a year they dont agree we get married without parents consent. Does this sound good?

    #15473

    lindsey_sooze
    Participant

    As you said that your mother has taken lot many pain for your raising. I am sure that she is worried about your future with that guy. She has already taken lot many pain as a lonely parent and definately she does not want you to face problem in your life. So you should give importance and respect to her feelings.

    First of all you should understand that why she is not accepting that boy. Is religion only matter for that? If so then you should talk to that boy and put her points in front of him. Because everybody has their on believe and everybody should respect that.
    Second, what about that boy family? Will they accept you? Are there any terms and conditions for accepting you? These points must clear.
    Third, do you believe that this boy is really loves you or this is only an opposite sex attraction? Because as time passes that attraction will disappear and you will be in big trouble.

    My suggestion is that try to find out the answers of above mentioned points. If everything is positive then you should sit together with your mother along with that boy and convince her. Also understand the openion of that boy’s family. Most important point, Please do not involve physically with that boy.

    Last point: your mother has already struggled a lot for your upbringing. So do not be so selfish and leave her alone. You have not taken birth in this world to love a boy only. You have taken birth to give proud to your parents.

    Let us all know about your decision. I am here to discuss this with you in detail.

    #15474

    lily
    Participant

    Hi,

    yes its only the religion thats the issue here. And the guy is pretty serious about me,he says that he will live alone if he cannot marry me.N moreover he has started setting us a house so that we can be together.
    I am just not sure how to convince my mother.

    #15475

    lindsey_sooze
    Participant

    What are your mother’s concerns? Tell me in detail.

    Sorry but I am not able to believe that guy. In begining most of the boys say like that. May be he is serious.

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