May 27, 2014 at 8:01 am #13713
Hi I am Anu. 3 months ago a guy asked me out and said that he was interested in dating me. I wasn’t really sure about it so I did not commit to him but instead told him to let the time decide the things further. And then we used to endlessly talk throughout the day exploring each other’ thoughts and lives only as friends because I was not sure about him and did not want to make a commitment which I may not be able to fulfill. I explained him the same and he agreed to wait.
The real problem began when he started getting overly inquisitive about certain things like what was I doing at that moment, what did I eat, drink, how many male friends do I have and how often do I talk to them? When he asks such questions I never reply him and try to know why does he ask such questions? He says that it’s because he cares for me and always accuses me of being rude by not replying him. He goes to the extent of verbally abusing me and says once we get in a relationship he is going to change me completely and later I would be happy to answer all his questions. Initially I thought he was asking out of curiosity but later he started advising me as in with which friends should I talk and which friends to avoid.
He has a very limited social circle and I have a larger social circle which he did not like. Even while chatting he wanted me to chat only with him and not my other friends. He did not like me having a FB account, he did not like me partying late night (even my parents never restricted me considering I was wise enough to take care of myself). I got irritated and told him to stop it as he was going over the board. I really feel like getting out of all this stuff because I feel suffocated. But some of my friends’ say that male partner is always such possessive and more jealous and it’s good that he is possessive it really means that he cares for me. What should I do? Am I wrong somewhere? Do I allow him to be so inquisitive? Day and night he tracks me wants to know where I am, what I am doing etc. Can you please help me out with this? I sometimes feel dejected that a guy who actually likes me feels nothing good about me and wants to change everything about me. Is it really love and care which I don’t value? As I say him that I do not want to continue this any further he creates an emotional scene which frustrates me a lot. How do I deny him?
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