Losing Control

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    I’ve not been feeling that great lately. I had anorexia half a year ago and i thought i cured it but i’m still constantly looking for perfection. there are days when i weight myself and am happy with the weight and other days i feel like i’m worse than i ever was. i physically can’t exercise anymore and i have trouble sleeping. music sounds all the same, food tastes like nothing. i feel like i’ve lost myself and i don’t have everything in order. i need everything to be perfect but now i’ve just lost control. i have gained weight and i feel like i look bad. i have no friends and my family doesn’t care. i used to not care about friends but now that i’m feeling like everything is falling apart i can’t talk about it with anyone, and i’m not sure if i would even be comfortable opening up about this to anyone. i never felt like i trusted anyone and i’m scared to because they might use it against me.

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