March 16, 2014 at 4:01 am #13632
I have been married for around a year. Its a luv marriage. We had a relationship of 3 years. Husband is businessman. Relationship was not approved by my parents due to his occupation, looks, education background though he was a son of a family friend. But finally they approved with lots of hesitation. But after the wedding it was all settled down. But then differences started building between us(me n hubby). We live in a joint family which is quite orthodox. Also he is very busy person. Always on business phone calls. Works all the days of week. I have holiday on Saturday n sunday. But he hardly has time to spend with me. N with this living in a joint family has left me living in a hell. Not because of the family but because of husband’s behavior. He anyways have very less time with him always. n out which he always spends time with his other family members. Thinks of talking to me only in the nite(tht too even if he feels.) after wedding it generally takes time for a gal to adjust with the family. but he doesnt understands all this. we dnt have a private life. we dnt discuss about our future plans, family planning.. its just tht come from office. Help in laws sit in the livi ng area. Since all the family is sitting together. Have dinner together. then again sit together. n then its bed time. we dnt have personal life. no romance(i dont even knw wht is tht). being a newly wed i feel that after coming from office we shud atleast talk to each other for some time after coming home. HIs brother n his wife also stay with us. being in a conservative family, their life ceems to be smooth enough. they have time for each other, spend time with family n have their private life too.
besides all this we dnt even go out much. even if v go out its only for a movie where sit idle, dnt tlk n watch movie. never a long drive/ride.
n talking about private life we hardly come close to each other. over the year we had a physical contact once in a month/ 2 months. in the initial prd i felt like have i married this guy for the sake of puja, archas… the family is so orthodox n religious. they keep every puja n all tht stuff. Till the initial 6 mnths of wedding we had a physical contact just at the honeymoon prd.. n hardly 1/2 times after tht..
Not just physical but i feel i am not even emotionally supported. I had spent almost half of the year nights while crying. So many sleepless nights!! we can hv fights on almost anything.
Isnt this all abnormal?? or is it the same case with every married couple?December 13, 2014 at 7:06 pm #15685
Okay.. What can I say.You can’t change a gene ..he and his family are different the personality,the way of thinking, intelligence,romance etc all are come from genes if research science..so a man actually never change.if he strongly influenced by sum1 and from sum place.. So very hard to live with that kind of person who don’t love u or care about u…and you know what….. I am arranged married just 2 months and I have gone all the problems and troubles u have…and still having…..It is so painful that a woman leaves all for a man and the husband is not beside his wife and also not supportive then for that woman it is very very hard to live in the marriage relation. Why always a woman suffer ?!? In marriage,after divorce a woman is sufferer.. The man changes his wife like a cup of tea.Men don’t have emotion..they only have sex.. So they don’t feel pain.. But a woman can understand pain through out her life.why our society is still orthodox and tabu for a woman ???
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