This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Suhana 3 years, 1 month ago.

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  • #13680

    Suhana
    Participant

    Hi,
    I am an 42 year old woman.I have 2 kids aged 13 and 18.
    From the first year of my marriage I found my husband very unresponsive and indifferent to my feelings.And he had a habit of taunting me for one reason or another,every time he got some time to spend with me.It concerned my looks or my behavior,the way I talk or walk,or my parents’ family.This completely distanced me from him.

    6 years ago I made friends online with an American man,8 years younger to me,who was very decent and we chatted online on topics that interested us both.It was a very light-hearted and open friendship.I knew about his girlfriends and he knew about my marital status,though i never revealed to him the complaints I had from my husband as I thought it would be cheap to disclose one’s family problems to a stranger.He said he liked how I took care of my family.Meanwhile,I hoped my relationship with my husband will improve as now I had a separate flat.Before we lived in a joint family of 12 people.But things got worse.Gradually,our sexual life almost became non-existent too,as it was centered on his satisfaction alone.So,I lost interest in sex with him too.

    Meanwhile this friend flirted with me occasionally,which I took lightly.
    2 years ago,he showed sexual interest in me,and I felt myself attracted to him strongly.We chatted sex online.He felt it was better than real sex.
    I also felt the same.
    Now,the problem started from here.
    When we made love online I thought it might be because of the unsatisfactory relationship with my husband that I am attracted to this man so much.I tried to stop it as I thought it is my weakness,But gradually I felt deeply connected to him in a way I have never felt with anyone.He said he felt the same.
    Since I have kids whom I love and have to take care of,I couldn’t leave my family.Meanwhile he also had girlfriends with whom he had sex.But every week he also chatted with me sexually.Now all our chats were about sex and love.He stopped telling me things from his life.He resisted sending me his pictures,but wanted mine all the time.This made me uncomfortable.And I stopped sending him pics.
    We still talk,because we both feel an uncontrollable urge to chat to each other even if it is not about sex.
    This made me ask for answers in the spiritual world.
    I felt immense love with him,and I grew softer and forgiving towards others.I feel I have grown immensely spiritually.I view the world differently now.But to be away from him is a torturous feeling.Sometimes I cry uncontrollably,because I want so much to be with him and I know I can’t.Besides he also has his own life to lead though he has said that he wants me to be with him and bear his child.But I know it is not possible.Because I cannot destroy my kids’ lives and be happy.My husband knows that I love a guy.And though I have no sexual relationship with my husband,as he still asks me to satisfy him though he is still not concerned about my satisfaction.So we have more of a friendly type of relationship.
    Guys,I know this situation is terrible,but I would still say,LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL,even if you can’t be together all the time.Though I will never stop trying,because,It is the most beautiful thing that has happened to me in my whole life,and it has changed me.

    According to a self help video it would bring me some relief to share my story.So I did.I would appreciate any comments.

    Thanks,
    Suhana.
    :heart:

    #15412

    achal
    Participant

    hey suhana,
    i blve luv can happen anytym anywhere and wid any1….
    and its d most beautiful thing in d world, u never know wen it will flew up… so just njoy it..!!!
    b happy…!!

    #15534

    Suhana
    Participant
    achal wrote:
    hey suhana,
    i blve luv can happen anytym anywhere and wid any1….
    and its d most beautiful thing in d world, u never know wen it will flew up… so just njoy it..!!!
    b happy…!!

    Hi, Achal,
    Thanks for your reply.
    Love,
    Suhana

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